The Chatner | Substack

Dear Prudence: The Column: The Book Is Out April 4th

“I want to be right all of the time; in my natural condition and given the option, I would choose the warm satisfaction of self-righteousness over…

Feb 16 •

A Good Day to Join the Hittite Army, Chapter Three: A Surprise Sea Voyage

Previously: You could imagine a pretty successful world without sheep in it, I mean, but you couldn’t imagine the same without grain, because when you…

Jun 8 •

Back in the Public Domain: It's The House at Pooh Corner

It only recently occurred to me that, Winnie the Pooh having at last entered the public domain, I might safely bring back The House at Pooh Corner, one…

Jun 5 •

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I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town

Sep 24, 2019 • Daniel Lavery

Finally Taking My Own Advice About Thanksgiving

Nov 28, 2019 • Daniel Lavery

Thoughts on a Phone Call

Feb 6, 2020 • Daniel Lavery

"As A Trans Man, Thanks For Being So Welcoming Of Trans Men; Weird That There's No Trans Women Here"

Jun 22, 2019 • Daniel Lavery

How I Believe Various Characters From HBO's "The Sopranos" Would React If I Tried To Teach Them The Rules Of Warhammer

Feb 17, 2021 • Daniel Lavery

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Possible Dinnertimes, In Order of Moral Laxity

There comes a time when one must ask oneself: Am I committing the near-sin of fanciness?

May 23 •

Things I'd Never Say to a Detective: Our Last Conversation Seemed Perfectly Normal -- Oh, You Mean Our Fight on the Bridge?

Now, there's a perfectly legitimate reason I didn't bring that up --

May 19 •

"A Good Day to Join the Hittite Army," Part II: There Are At Least Three Roads in the World

Previously: It seemed like a good day to join the Hittite army. I’d seen the advertisements at the trading-post – “Every day is a good day to join the…

May 11 •

Things I Love To Say Shortly Before Being Murdered

Not immediately before, where I love to say things like “Oh, it’s you” after opening the door to an unseen visitor, or better still, “What do you want…

May 9 •

"The Single Standard": Towards A Unified Theory of the Transmasculine Origins of Romance Novels

Previously in this series: Forced-Masculinization Fantasy in Georgette Heyer, Daphne du Maurier, Anne of Green Gables, and Star Trek. I recently picked…

May 4 •

Please Accept My Application To Be Turned Loose in The Royal Forest to Root for Beechmast and Acorns

Previously in this series: Please accept my application to become a bog body. Please accept my application to become the wealthiest peasant in the…

May 1 •

All Things Great and Small: Excerpts From A Secret Whatsapp Group Of The Neighbors of Peter Glazebrook, Giant Vegetable Farmer

stonebridge_springlane: happy spring everyone! just as a reminder for anyone new to the chat this year: between 15 April and early June the entire…

Apr 27 •

The Chatner

The Chatner

A newsletter about rejiggered literary classics, transmasculine underpinnings of the plucky heroine, and the failure-limits of graciousness, from table manners to family estrangement.

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