A Day in the Life of a Druid, Based Solely On Reliably Verifiable Written or Archaeological Evidence

Previously: What we know for sure about the Druids is nothing and shut up.

Nowadays everyone prefaces any sort of statement about the Druids with, “Now, of course, there’s not much we do know about the Druids, you know,” to dampen all the fun in advance. Everyone’s got to sit on their hands and dutifully recite “We can’t really know anything about the Druids, who had a rule against writing things down that unfortunately they never wrote down, and only a fool trusts the Commentaries on the Gauls,” and Lord help you if you even try to mention an oak tree.

7:00-7:15AM: See oak, or possibly know-oak

7:15-7:45AM: Religious duties

7:45-8:00AM: Organize worship, divination, auguries, sacrifices, etc

8:00-8:30AM: Possibly wren?

8:30-9:00AM: Memorize lore

9:00-9:30AM: Social duties

9:30-10:00AM: Gather [redacted]

10:00-10:30AM: Play important but nonspecific role in Celtic society

10:30-11:00AM: Don't write anything down!!!!

11:00-11:30AM: Intervene in...[subjects]

11:30-12:00PM: Secret instruction (caves)

12:00-12:30PM: Light working lunch

12:30-1:00PM: Oral transmission of knowledge and literary traditions. DO NOT WRITE DOWN IDEAS!

1:00-1:30PM: Serve as intermediary between [OMITTED] and the divine

1:30-2:00PM: Threefold death

2:30-3:00PM: Emphasize barbarism of [certain practices] in front of Roman scribes

3:00-3:15PM: Mistletoe??

3:15-3:30PM: Secret instruction (groves)

3:30-4:00PM: Share prominent roles with female counterparts

4:00-4:15PM: Hillside

4:15-4:30PM: Obfuscate origins of local megaliths

4:00-4:30PM: Animal form

4:30-5:00PM: Whittle staff

5:00-5:30PM: Scrying and natural philosophy

5:30-6:00PM: Number nine, importance of (do not write down!!!)

6:00-6:30PM: Picnic supper with friends

6:30-7:00PM: Burn any texts accidentally written earlier in the day

7:00PM-8:00PM: Venerate a tree

8:00-8:30PM: Observe stars

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]