Suffer beautifully! But suffer safely! Stay safe out there, sufferers! Stay suffering, beautifuls! Stay beautiful, safes! Suffer beautifully! Let’s rise and grind our imperfections down against the polishing-wheel! In the choice between suffering with beauty or suffering with dignity, remember to always choose beauty! The family is a disease of affluence, and you are in bed to get well soon!
It’s a little-known fact among the somatic community that you don’t actually have to let go of your anger towards your monstrous father, if you don’t want to. But what to do with the little poison changeling of loathing mewling in your arms? Can’t turn it out outwards. Can’t turn it inwards. Can’t make a move without tearing a hamstring. How to hold that swaddled bundle so still that rage is neither lost nor transferred in so doing? Remember your own confinements, but do not replicate them! Repetition is not beautiful, and we are here to chew gum and pursue the beautiful. Pursue and chew gum at the same time, while remaining perfectly still. Let your anger drop into the cat’s cradle of your pelvic valley and set the rest of your body to its lowest vibration setting around it. Do all this without moving. Remain perfectly still.
Repeat the following mantra only once: No longer ingratiate. Englaciate. We are taking our anger dormant, folding the outward-facing wings of the body-house, damming up the lungs for the season, covering the furniture, drawing-down the rate of the heart, the blood, the metabolic expenditures per unit-times, to preserve its delicate structure. Lie perfectly still. Animals that find themselves in imperfect conditions lie perfectly still until conditions change. Lie perfectly still until conditions change. What is called in winter hibernation is called in summer estivation. If in danger of thirst, estivate. If in danger of cold, hibernate. What is unnecessary goes into cold storage. What is necessary focuses. Wait for more opportune conditions to present themselves. Act as steward to your own internal resources, and await with confidence the fruits of your own harvest. Mark everything on your key-clasp. The formation and development of caves require uninterrupted ideal conditions for millions of years. There will be room enough to hate everything that necessitates hatred, if you are patient and prepared for a great hollowing-out of earth. A cave is considered active as long as there is still water flowing through it; water begets caves by carrying everything that is not a cave away. In the absence of water, estivate, then wait. Water will come along.
Try to touch your toes, if you are tempted to exert yourself beyond yourself. Do not go beyond the natural limits of the body. Breathe into the roots of the table-rock, and make room. Make room, make way, wait for water. Do not at this stage attempt to carry anything. Hold on to whatever the cave is growing around. Consider the creatures born in the tight and pressure-banded hadal sea. Nothing from the higher water can survive the great crunch downwards. Them that can live, live there. Everything the sea calls life eventually rains down dead on them, in a great vertical conveyer-belt buffet. Become suited to an extreme environment, and brace your body around a great pressure. Go further under, and Cassius-wait. A gulper eel is suited to its environment, and never strains beyond its grasp. Suppleness and slowness are your allies against entropy. Settle in for a good long hate, and drop beneath, or outwait, anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. Breathe in one more time, then hold it.
truly poetic i love this
Fucking love this and needed it.