When it comes to narratives of archaeological discovery, chance and naïveté beat out professional expertise, regional or collective knowledge, and educated guesses every time. The people want one thing, and that’s to hear about how some bored French teens/Syrian junior-high math teacher/family of eight on vacation accidentally stumbled upon the find of the century! Better yet, that their dog stumbled upon the find of the century, and they in turn stumbled upon the dog!

Frank Calvert and Heinrich Schliemann looking for Troy on purpose, conducting numerous repeat surveys, securing formal permission from local authorities, etc, boring. A local farmer with a history of discovering unusual objects in his fields, better. A group of underpaid parish priests renovating a 200-year-old temple and discovering it’s actually 2000 years old when they start selling off a bunch of bronze shoes underneath the foundations, better yet. An unnamed farmer plowing in happy ignorance only to descend from his puzzled horse after his plow strikes a Bronze Age artifact, better still. A trio of local shepherds stumbling upon a cave full of Dead Sea Scrolls, as good as it gets.

The more amateur and anonymous the discoverers, the more isolated and unheard-of the discovery, the more shocked and unaware the populace of local history, the better, at least as far as whoever writes those little label cards in museums is concerned. In addition to making for a snappy headline, these narratives of naive discovery have presumably made it easier to justify increasingly-extraordinary requisition ( “Gee whiz, will ya get a load of all this history? It was just lying here underneath our feet the whole time! Nobody was using it! Nobody even knew it was there! It’s already in the British Museum!”), plus it’s a lot of fun to think that you might uncover a Viking coin hoard the next time you go to the beach during low tide.

TRUNDHOLM SUN CHARIOT

Found by a….FARMER IN 1902

In a….PEAT BOG

Who initially….THOUGHT IT WAS A CHILD’S TOY

NEBRA SKY DISK

Found by a….PAIR OF TREASURE HUNTERS IN 1999

In an….ENCLOSURE IN THE ZIEGELRODA FOREST

Who initially….WERE OPERATING A METAL DETECTOR WITHOUT A LICENSE

CALIGULA’S SHIPS AT NEMI

Found by a….GENTLEMAN AMATEUR

In a….DIVING BELL HOLDING EIGHT SAILORS

Who subsequently….ABANDONED RECOVERY WHEN LOCALS RAIDED HIS DIVE SITE TO MAKE WINE BARRELS

IGUVINE TABLETS

Found by a….FARMER IN 1444

In a….FIELD NEAR SCHEGGIA

Who initially….GAVE THEM TO HIS SON-IN-LAW, WHO TRADED THEM TO THE CITY OF GUBBIO FOR FARMING RIGHTS

THE STRETTWEG CULT WAGON

Found by a….FARMER NAMED FERDINAND IN 1851

In a….FIELD DURING PLOWING SEASON

Who initially….SOLD PIECES TO LOCAL CHAPLAIN WILHELM DECRIGNIS

KING OF NA GOLD SEAL

Found by….A FARMER NAMED JINBEI

In an….IRRIGATION DITCH HE WAS REPAIRING

Who initially….NEEDED A BUDDY TO HELP HIM LIFT IT OUT

THE FONT-DE-GAUME PAINTINGS/COMBARELLES SYSTEM

Found by a….LOCAL SCHOOLTEACHER NAMED “DENIS” IN 1901

In a….CAVE OCCASIONALLY USED AS A STABLE BY LOCAL PEASANTS

Who initially….SOLD PREHISTORICAL ARTEFACTS ON THE BLACK MARKET

VENUS DE MILO

Found by a….PEASANT NAMED YORGOS

In a….QUARRY

Who initially….HOPED TO SELL IT AS PART OF A SALVAGE OPERATION

UNDERGROUND CITY OF DERINKUYU

Found by a…TURKISH MAN IN 1963

In….HIS BASEMENT

Who initially….HOPED TO REMODEL SAID BASEMENT

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