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I like this a lot, especially "of my party". I definitely have affiliative instincts towards trans men, AFAB nonbinary folks and people in the butch lesbian sphere. Sometimes I've been like, hey, it's very important to some of these folks that their identity is distinct from others of these folks! am I erasing something or other by thinking of them all as one big group??? but the "of my party" concept is great there because it implies fellow travelling as opposed to sameness!

"refusal of the binary distinction between binary and non-binary transitions" is also great because it's like, fractal nonbinariness, which I have spent a lot of time pondering. we're still in a space where some people treat nonbinary as a Special Flavour Of Trans and other people treat it as a Thing Halfway Between Cis And Trans, neither of which is quite right because, you know, the point...is...that trying to describe the whole situation with reference to Precisely Two Things is gonna cause problems...that is the point........

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I love the idea of binary/non-binary as its own kind of binary. There’s a camp for trans men (the name escapes me but one of the Original Plumbing guys is behind it) that explicitly asks non-binary trans men not to attend—binary men only. The bright line baffles me because what does it even mean?? What’s the difference? I am not asking as a criticism (although I have some of those, too). I’m asking because I would love for someone to delineate the difference so that I might understand myself?? One of the necessary conditions of my transition was letting go of the need to explain it or, truly, even describe it beyond the mechanics and my immediate feelings, yet some people are so clear that they can comfortably sort gender into piles?

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