“Hey man. I’m really sorry there was a bag in the road the other day, where there isn’t normally a bag.”

“I’m so sorry the kitchen floor is made of tile.”

“Hey man, just checking in. I heard there was an olive on the floor earlier? I’m so sorry.”

“Just wanted to check in. I know part of the sidewalk was wet this morning.”

“I heard they got a new chair. I’m here if you need anything.”

“I guess somebody opened a can or a bottle? That can be a lot.”

“I heard the bad news about big leaf, and I am sorry to hear about big leaf, and I hope there is no more big leaf soon.”

“Hey, I heard you saw your own foot first thing when you woke up recently. I know how hard that can be.”

“Are you okay? I noticed there were shadows outside today from the sun and figured you probably saw some of them too.”

“I heard they moved the chair, so there’s a whole new spot for the chair to be in, and I’m here for you.”

“I heard about bag. I’m sorry.”

“I saw this morning that there was a newspaper on the front stoop in the same place there’s always a newspaper every morning – let me know if you’re okay.”

“I heard about loud object, large object, suddenly moving, inorganic smell. I’m so sorry inorganic smell, loud object, large object, suddenly moving, what is it?”

“So sorry you had to see a balloon…I’ve been there, brother…”

“I know you recently had to exist in some sort of environment of some kind. That’s rough. I’m here if you need anything.”

“Hey man, I’m really sorry you had to see someone you see all the time at the usual place, doing all of the same things they normally do.”

“I heard about water running. I’m so sorry about water running, about loud water, sink in general.”

“I Heard There Was Laundry My Condolences”

“For everything that isn’t little pieces of hot dog, I am sorry.”