17 Comments
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Luke @ This's avatar

I am both deeply unserious, AND a fucking bitch, and am proud to be referred to as both. What kind of snowflake has the temerity to have their apple cart upturned by either turn of phrase? What a time to be alive. Yes, this is most certainly a time.

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Elizabeth Aubrey's avatar

Reading about the stubborn pettiness in your backpack story is exactly what I needed today. Your feelings are valid and it was your only option.

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Anna's avatar

A woman once stopped me on the street and motioned for me to take my headphones off, then proceeded to tell me I had the most beautiful skin she'd ever seen. It was simultaneously the best and most unsettling compliment I've gotten from a stranger in my life.

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Daniel Lavery's avatar

that's definitely better than "your backpack's open"

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Melanie Albrecht's avatar

Thankyou for being petty about the backpack guy, and for sharing. I cackled.

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Glencora's avatar

In these kinds of situations, after something like “hi…excuse me!” has failed, I generally resort to silent, theatrical gestures and expressions, so the worst they can think is that I’m an insane mime. But anyway, I feel like I just read a newly-discovered Baudelaire prose poem, which is a nice start to the day.

(Also, “hey guy” is also just awkward, like someone mistranslated “dude.”)

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Cecille's avatar

This is exactly how I feel when I'm told my backpack is open...I feel so seen

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Hope Cartelli's avatar

This was all wonderful, but I don't know how many times I have giggled at and shared/quoted the NY1 police facial hair segment teaser since reading this yesterday and I needed to document that. Thank you.

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Leah's avatar

Danny, if you need food recs in Tucson I cannot recommend La Indita highly enough!! Also El Minuto and Houlden’s Bakeshop!

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Lee Lucci's avatar

No one would call me “deeply unserious” because they don’t want the subsequent hassle of dealing with such a fucking bitch.

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Daniel Lavery's avatar

all right!

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Amal El-Mohtar's avatar

I was literally just on the Tucson Festival's page going "I wonder who else will be there" and was so happy to see you!

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Daniel Lavery's avatar

Oh I hope very much I get to see you! Please keep an eye out for me, and I'll do the same!

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Magpie's avatar

Honestly I might put this footnote as the entire description of my Feeld profile. Really sorts the wheat from the unserious chaff

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Seth Mills's avatar

I use a shoulder bag with no flap and regularly stuff it fuller than the zipper can accommodate, so that less than annoyed more than pity look is one I've become so familiar with on the subway

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Anton's avatar

This is a masterpiece of principled pettiness. The refusal to give him the satisfaction of being right — even while quietly drying off your soaked books later — is a kind of civic devotion I deeply respect. “That’s fine. That’s no problem.” has the energy of a regency duchess denying the obvious in full brocade. Godspeed to all of us who would rather get rained on than lose a game of sidewalk ego chicken.

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AJ Luxton's avatar

I feel like I might hate being called unserious more if the person doing it was someone I respected, but, assuming a perfectly spherical stranger in a frictionless vacuum, I feel like "unserious" is logically disputable in a way "a fucking bitch" is not. I can say "Oh, it's unserious to care about the things I care about and you don't, now, is it?" and take my internet points and depart the function.

This would not work if an activist I vocally admired called me deeply unserious. In that instance I would have to leave without internet points and maybe cry.

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