Emperors With Viziers Who Don't Scheme

Previously in Vizier Studies: If you’re having problems with your liege, look within.

By all means, ignore my advice — if you are satisfied with the number and quality of favor-rings your king has already bestowed upon you. But if you would be bedecked as I am, if you wish to carry a fly-whisk of carnelian and fine horse-hair, or to wear a cap of maintenance, and costly gold arm-bands, you will not bow too often, nor say “How right you are,” when your liege happens to sneeze.

It just goes to show, you know, that there are two sides to every coin. Perhaps I had better explain what I mean. You might think, as an emperor, that the worst fate that could befall you would be to inherit a scheming vizier (Or viceroy, steward, head chancellor, senior minister, satrap, pasha, administrator, et cet).

You know the type, I think: silver-tongued, or worse honeytongued, and much given to intrigue. If he is not precisely oily, then certainly well-lubricated. The sort of fellow who oozes helpfulness, and surprises you when you come around corners. He may not precisely skulk, but he seems to come together all of a sudden and quite in your way, like a precipice. Thin, top-heavy fellows, whose signet rings are always a vivid and hateful sort of crimson, you know. Not much flesh on them, as a general rule. They must produce them all out of the same assembly-line, or something.