The shades of night were falling fast, 
As through an Alpine village passed 
A youth, who bore, 'mid snow and ice, 
A banner with the strange device, 
Lana Turner has collapsed! 

His brow was sad; his eye beneath, 
had been to lots of parties 
and acted perfectly disgraceful
but never actually collapsed, 
oh Lana Turner we love you get up! 

In happy homes he saw the light 
of torches, yours to hold them high!
To break no faith with those who die, 
who do not sleep, though poppies grow, 
Excelsior! 

"Try not the Pass!" the old man said; 
”Beware the Jabberwock, my son! 
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! 
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun –” 
Excelsior!  

“Because I liked you better 
Than suits a man to say," 
It irked you, and I promised 
To throw the thought away.
Housman!

"Beware the brillig''s withered branch! 
Beware the awful avalanche!" 
This was the peasant's last Good-night, 
A voice replied, far up the height, 
O Bandersnatch! 

At break of day, as heavenward 
The pious monks of Saint Bernard 
Sailed on the schooner Hesperus, 
Christ save us all from death like this, 
Gordon Lightfoot! 

Oh, rock me mamma like a wagon wheel, 
Rock me mamma any way you feel,
My boy Bill will be tall and as tough as a tree,
This song has been covered numerous times,
The Civil Wars are never getting back together! 

A portion of that unknown plain,
Will Hodge for ever be,
His homely Northern breast and brain,
In other poetry,
Excelsior! 

Works Cited

[Lana Turner has collapsed], Frank O’Hara
“In Flanders Fields,” John McCrae
“Jabberwocky,” Lewis Carroll
“Because I Liked You,” A.E. Housman
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” Gordon Lightfoot
“Soliloquy,” Carousel
“Wagon Wheel,” Bob Dylan and Ketch Secor
“Drummer Hodge,” Thomas Hardy