Discover more from The Chatner
Have you tried keeping a thing of nuts or almonds or something in your car
I don’t know what problems you’re facing right now – there’s a lot – but have you tried keeping a thing of nuts or something in your car? Just a thing of them. Have you tried it? I don’t know. Might make a difference. Everything else is too much. You can leave them in the container you got them in – wrapped or unwrapped, if it’s one of those plastic tubs with a little choker of plastic around the lip – or put them in an old coffee mug that’s still in the cupholder between the front seats. A ziploc baggie in the console is fine too. Or one of those bulk-food bin bags with the zip ties is fine. Also good is a little single-serving pouch from the good gas stations along interstates. But just a thing of nuts or something, almonds maybe, in your car, that might help.
You don’t have to eat them. Especially if they’re the kind with shells, though, it can help to open them, and then maybe put the shells in the empty cupholder, so they rattle around when you take a turn too fast, like the car has loose teeth. That’s something. It just helps to know there’s a thing of nuts in your car if you need to know you have something in your car, to brace yourself, in case you need bracing. The right amount to have is “a thing of.” The thing of to have is nuts or something. Not if you’re allergic. Something else then. But a thing of nuts or something. That’s safe. You can just look at them sometimes, to remind yourself that they’re there.
The trunk is another good place for a thing of nuts, in case something happens to the first thing. You could probably fit a bigger thing in the trunk. Don’t try to clean out your trunk, and don’t bother going to the store for it. Just wait until you have a big thing of nuts, or maybe trail mix, and then make a nice little home for it in the trunk of your car, where it can rest. And then you can drive around, or maybe just circle the block, or get in the car and not go anywhere, or go a little somewhere, like a pharmacy parking lot. Nothing else has changed, but if you have a thing of nuts in your car, if you’re ever in the car and you want to open something, or let something splinter in your mouth, you’re covered, you’re covered, you’re covered, you’re covered, and if anyone else wants a thing of nuts or even just part of one, they’re covered too, okay.