This is also good advice for someone trying to adopt a baby -- another process where your friends wish they could help, don't understand why it's taking so long, and nobody knows anything about the future!
As someone who’s been doing the unemployed job hunt for 3 months now, this hit SO hard, like good LORD it’s hard to know what to say to well meaning people when they’re like “you’re so qualified, who wouldn’t want to hire you” & you’re like well apparently everyone, as I do not currently have a job, but thank you for the compliment I guess…anyway ty this was actually good advice I needed at this point in my life lol
As someone who's been through the academic job market, solidarity!! Another favorite of mine was all the people (especially older relatives) who would say well meaning but very off the mark things like "Can't you just call up X university and tell them you want to work there?" or "Wouldn't Y department where you got Z degree just hire you on full time? Well, have you asked?" Then trying to explain that is so far from how it works, and getting told I was just being too hard on myself. I should have had a stock answer ready to deploy instead of ending up in weird arguments, for sure!
It can be so difficult! People often just want to "solve the problem," often with the kindest intentions, but since they can't actually solve it their attempts to do so often wind up being dismissive or oddly unhelpful. One finds oneself feeling both guilty and annoyed in those cases. A tricky mixture!
As a veteran of long job searches, I recommend saying something vague but technically accurate, like "I have calls scheduled with 2 places next week". Even if they're just first-round phone screens just designed to check if I have enough wherewithall to not screen at the interviewer, they're still calls! With places! That are scheduled!
Sarcasm is always the answer in these situations. "offers are coming in droves, might have to hire a full time assistant out of Bangladesh just to process them all" Your friend will smell the barb under the joke, and know, 'this is a f**king minefield' laugh at your wit and good humor and move on.
I did the academic job market, which is just similar enough to other job markets that people who have never done it will think they understand ... and just different enough that they will be wrong. Solidarity, LW! (I now have an academia-adjacent job; my particular role (which, somewhat to my surprise, I basically love) is not wildly prestigious, but the institution that I'm at is, and it's weird when the institutional halo effect comes into play and when it doesn't.)
For people who don't know much about the academic job market and for whom an infodump about it wouldn't be appropriate, can you ... not tell them? Talk about *literally anything else* that you're doing--either work things like finishing a paper, scheduling your dissertation defense, hounding your advisor for comments on your last chapter, trying to keep things alive in the lab, etc. or non-work things like the fun book that you're reading or the show that you're watching or the dog in your building that you're making friends with in the elevator. Save "I'm on the job market" for people either who know what that means in academia or with whom you have the sort of relationship that both you and they have the bandwidth for the infodump that will have to ensue to get them up to speed.
And, for folks who find out for other reasons than that you uttered the words "I'm on the academic job market" in their presence, prepare to do a *lot* of "Interesting, I'll think about that!" as a response to Various Nonsense of the sort that Elliot mentions. For well-meaning near-strangers, deflect and change the subject when you can; neither of you will come away happier if the conversation ends up deep in the weeds.
This is also good advice for someone trying to adopt a baby -- another process where your friends wish they could help, don't understand why it's taking so long, and nobody knows anything about the future!
As someone who’s been doing the unemployed job hunt for 3 months now, this hit SO hard, like good LORD it’s hard to know what to say to well meaning people when they’re like “you’re so qualified, who wouldn’t want to hire you” & you’re like well apparently everyone, as I do not currently have a job, but thank you for the compliment I guess…anyway ty this was actually good advice I needed at this point in my life lol
As someone who's been through the academic job market, solidarity!! Another favorite of mine was all the people (especially older relatives) who would say well meaning but very off the mark things like "Can't you just call up X university and tell them you want to work there?" or "Wouldn't Y department where you got Z degree just hire you on full time? Well, have you asked?" Then trying to explain that is so far from how it works, and getting told I was just being too hard on myself. I should have had a stock answer ready to deploy instead of ending up in weird arguments, for sure!
It can be so difficult! People often just want to "solve the problem," often with the kindest intentions, but since they can't actually solve it their attempts to do so often wind up being dismissive or oddly unhelpful. One finds oneself feeling both guilty and annoyed in those cases. A tricky mixture!
As a veteran of long job searches, I recommend saying something vague but technically accurate, like "I have calls scheduled with 2 places next week". Even if they're just first-round phone screens just designed to check if I have enough wherewithall to not screen at the interviewer, they're still calls! With places! That are scheduled!
This is a great post — solid and honest. You hit it out of the park with this one.
This is my exact thought process while job-hunting so thank you!!
This is a really good piece of advice. Thank you.
Sarcasm is always the answer in these situations. "offers are coming in droves, might have to hire a full time assistant out of Bangladesh just to process them all" Your friend will smell the barb under the joke, and know, 'this is a f**king minefield' laugh at your wit and good humor and move on.
This was excellent! Thank you!
I did the academic job market, which is just similar enough to other job markets that people who have never done it will think they understand ... and just different enough that they will be wrong. Solidarity, LW! (I now have an academia-adjacent job; my particular role (which, somewhat to my surprise, I basically love) is not wildly prestigious, but the institution that I'm at is, and it's weird when the institutional halo effect comes into play and when it doesn't.)
For people who don't know much about the academic job market and for whom an infodump about it wouldn't be appropriate, can you ... not tell them? Talk about *literally anything else* that you're doing--either work things like finishing a paper, scheduling your dissertation defense, hounding your advisor for comments on your last chapter, trying to keep things alive in the lab, etc. or non-work things like the fun book that you're reading or the show that you're watching or the dog in your building that you're making friends with in the elevator. Save "I'm on the job market" for people either who know what that means in academia or with whom you have the sort of relationship that both you and they have the bandwidth for the infodump that will have to ensue to get them up to speed.
And, for folks who find out for other reasons than that you uttered the words "I'm on the academic job market" in their presence, prepare to do a *lot* of "Interesting, I'll think about that!" as a response to Various Nonsense of the sort that Elliot mentions. For well-meaning near-strangers, deflect and change the subject when you can; neither of you will come away happier if the conversation ends up deep in the weeds.