The Chatner

Share this post

King Food I Want To Eat

www.thechatner.com

King Food I Want To Eat

Daniel Lavery
Nov 2, 2020
50
8
Share

It’s pretty straightforward:

  • Bread plate, table length

  • Goblet, ruby contents

  • More!

  • Big hot apple, skin too hot for fingers, carefully sectioned with personal knife

  • Hearty laughter of companions, barrel jugs

  • Little hot pancakes, thrown

  • A clove to pick at teeth

  • Hah-ha-hah! King!

  • Clap at servants for more

  • Everything shot with arrows

  • Licking grease from fingers, gleaming rings on

  • Big hot onion on dagger

  • Partridge, braced

  • One oak leaf, huge, bread inside

  • Dogs on floor, watchful for bones, burrowed under straw, torchlight streaked with grease, bed covered in furs, good woman, good dogs, all in bed, good woman in bed, good dogs in bed, for different bed reasons, all good

  • Strewn

  • Pig, halved

  • Candles guttering, scorch marks, great hall riddled with marks of fire, big chain headdress for beautiful ladies

  • Sweetmeats, for delicacy

  • Haunch

  • Big fish to signal plenty

  • Hah! Fine impudence! I wonder if you shall like the taste of it so well, when the impudence is brought to your door, Sir Guy!

  • Bread ripped open for steam

  • Butter paddle

  • More, hey!

  • Capon

  • Flagon

  • Saffron

  • Bouillon

  • Venison

  • Rampion

  • Gryphon

  • Mutton

  • Bacon

  • Big spiced animal

  • Honey dripping out of chalice

  • Comfits, marmalades, etc

  • Shank

  • The best potato, wooden bowl, nestled in ashes of great fire, quiet secret cooking

  • Biggest pie

  • Chutney, finest

  • Spice array, fragrant, wooden board, many spices, rich from travel, northern pines, lashed to mast, sea-spray, largesse

  • Hewn lamb

  • No forks!!!

  • Many bowls of sauce, all colors, for pouring, ducking, strewing, etc

  • A boar for me

  • A white hind for the ladies

  • Fragrant little bowls of hand soup, for finger dipping, roses on top

  • Candied petals for whimsy

  • Bring me a hock!!

  • Biggest egg available, crown on

  • Chestnuts thrown into mouth

  • Oysters, beautiful, caged in ice

  • Candy ship with my name on it, man to read my name to me in Latin, no reading for the king, beautiful king who is never in trouble

  • Stab for choosing

  • Hare upside down, skin on, display only

  • One fabulous lemon for looking at, wealth

  • Small north fish packed in salt

  • Boeuf

  • Groats for throwing in displeasure

  • Mushroom in breadcrumbs

  • Wolf, for fierceness

  • Puddings, pease, grouse, sweetmeats, sweetbreads, geese, geeseberry, taste of justice, good cheer, ho-ho-ho, pie with a surprise in it, benevolence, but I’m still intimidating, throwing my cloak off to show I am good Richard of Lion Heart, rise up, fellows, there is no need to kneel any longer, knife for fork, cheese wrapped in cloth

  • Windowsill smells

    I’m the man of plenty! I’m the wild man and the law! I’m the greensward and the huntmaster, with more cheer than Tom Bomadil and Christmas Present put together, and I cry you welcome, friend, and bid you sop up your gravies with haste, before my dogs do your man’s work for you, ho-ho-ho!

50
8
Share
8 Comments
ST
Nov 2, 2020

Basically picturing you as King John from the Disney Robin Hood.

Expand full comment
Reply
J. Woods
Nov 2, 2020

"Big spiced animal"

Expand full comment
Reply
6 more comments…
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Daniel M. Lavery
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing