No One Bites Like

Previously in our ongoing Gaston coverage.

Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says no to – to – No one says no to him. To who he is.

Heh-heh. Darn right.

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.

More beer?

What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

Who? You? Never, – – the name escapes me. You – You’ve got to pull yourself together. Name. Name here.

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you – m’sieur –
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you – like you –
Even when taking your lumps (WHOSE LUMPS?)
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as – NAME HERE
No one's quick as – THE NAME
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as THAT NAME.
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any – first, two, or third man. THEIR NAMES, IMP.
And they'll tell you whose team – and they’ll tell you their names – their names –

NAMELESS #1: It’s –

NAMELESS #2: It wasn’t, never was –

NAMELESS #3: It isn’t –

THE MAN WHOSE NAME WE ALL KNOW – IT’S –

No one's been like he’s been
A kingpin like he is
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like his chin – split –
The most supple bosom in town – that’s his chin – 
As a specimen – yes.
As a specimen – yes.
As a specimen – yes.
As a specimen – yes.
As a specimen – yes.
As a specimen – yes.
As a specimen – yes.
My, what a guy, that’s the guy – My, what a guy, that’s the guy – My, what a guy, that’s the guy – My, what a guy, that’s the guy – My, what a guy, that’s the guy – My, what a guy, that’s the guy – My, what a guy, that’s the guy – My – I’M INTIMIDATED –

Give five hurrahs
Give twelve hip-hips
THAT ONE is the best
And the rest is all drips

No one fights like he fights
Douses lights when he fights
In a wrestling match nobody bites like he bites
For there's no one as BITES and HE’S BITING
As you see I've got biceps to spare
Not a BITE of him's scraggly or scrawny
That's bite
And every last inch of me's covered with BITES

No one BITES like HE BITES
Matches BITES like HIS BITES
In a spitting match nobody BITES like HE BITES
BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE
Ten points for – HIS NAME, LADS, GIVE ME A NAME!

When I was a bite I bit four dozen bites
Every biting to help me bite bite
And now that I'm bit I bite five dozen times
So I'm roughly I BITE AND I BITE.

No one bites like bites
Teeth stay white when he bites
Then goes tromping around biting boots like – his name?
NOW HE’S BITING I’M BITING HE’S BITING MY MOUTH
Say it again
[Muffled] Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more –
Who's the hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down –
No one says no to him – no one tangles his No –
No one bears his humiliations
There's just one – The Speciman. He’s the Speciman,
He’s incredibly necked, everyone’s favorite disturbance
And he bites, he bites everyone – the girl thinks she’s tangling with him
NOW HE’S BITING I’M BITING HE’S BITING MY MOUTH
But she’s down, she’s cleft like a chin from his manliest half
She said no – but she’s no one – he’s someone, he’s – his name –
And then say it once more –
He can’t guess but he’s been, he’s pulling himself together
And he’s disturbing everyone down, lower down now,
It’s very hard and it’s down to every last inch
And his fans are hanging on, his fans are bearing down,
There's no men in town, no guys, no names, nothing helps
There’s no one and there’s no one and there’s no one like him
And we’d all like to be him and don’t you know who – who his name – the name for his mouth – there’s a name for his bite – no one bites like – NO ONE BITES LIKE THE SPECIMAN AND HE’S EVERY GUY IN TOWN EVERY NECK EVERY HUMILIATION IS HIS AND SHE SAID NO BUT HIS NAME IS ON THE TIP OF OUR TONGUE –