The Chatner

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Now That It's Almost The Holidays There Better Not Be Any Borrowers In My Damn Apartment

www.thechatner.com

Now That It's Almost The Holidays There Better Not Be Any Borrowers In My Damn Apartment

Daniel Lavery
Nov 24, 2020
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Now That It's Almost The Holidays There Better Not Be Any Borrowers In My Damn Apartment

www.thechatner.com
  • I’ve been inside too long for this shit to be cute

  • You had better not have developed any resourceful little networks in my walls

  • I don’t want to hear any damn Borrowers

  • Absolutely not

  • whatever it is, go get your own

  • Oh, what’s that, are you making do with whatever’s available? I do not care

  • Don’t fucking call me a bean

  • Fuck off

  • I do not care about the problems

  • stop being like people but a little different

  • I needed that

  • I still need that

  • Give that back

  • you sound like a bug and you want me to feel sorry for you, both at the same time? Absolutely no

  • You can live in a beautiful clock and I can’t

  • it’s not borrowing

  • You don’t respect yourselves

  • I don’t find your whimsy

  • I don’t like your naming conventions at all

  • Go away

  • You are also stealing my privacy

  • stop making me think about wartime rationing

  • Fuck tininess

  • I’m gonna be home a lot even more for holidays and I want my coziness to belong to me

  • Fuck you definitely

  • Ugh

  • fuck off of borrowing please

  • oh do you still remember that one week in summer you visited your great aunt? I do not care about this story, remember it by yourself

  • quit bothering me

  • Where are you??

  • I’m too tired for folksing

  • Go away from my house, I don’t want to worry about your smallness

  • Leave me alone!!! you can steal from me or you can live in my house but you can’t do both at the same time

7
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Now That It's Almost The Holidays There Better Not Be Any Borrowers In My Damn Apartment

www.thechatner.com
7 Comments
AmZ
paid
Nov 24, 2020

So, where I grew up (USSR/Russia), there was a version of Borrowers in children's lit, but with a utilitarian twist: they were Warranty Men, servicing household mechanisms and appliances.

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