The Chatner

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Now That It's Almost The Holidays There Better Not Be Any Borrowers In My Damn Apartment
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Now That It's Almost The Holidays There Better Not Be Any Borrowers In My Damn Apartment

Daniel Lavery
Nov 24, 2020
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  • I’ve been inside too long for this shit to be cute

  • You had better not have developed any resourceful little networks in my walls

  • I don’t want to hear any damn Borrowers

  • Absolutely not

  • whatever it is, go get your own

  • Oh, what’s that, are you making do with whatever’s available? I do not care

  • Don’t fucking call me a bean

  • Fuck off

  • I do not care about the problems

  • stop being like people but a little different

  • I needed that

  • I still need that

  • Give that back

  • you sound like a bug and you want me to feel sorry for you, both at the same time? Absolutely no

  • You can live in a beautiful clock and I can’t

  • it’s not borrowing

  • You don’t respect yourselves

  • I don’t find your whimsy

  • I don’t like your naming conventions at all

  • Go away

  • You are also stealing my privacy

  • stop making me think about wartime rationing

  • Fuck tininess

  • I’m gonna be home a lot even more for holidays and I want my coziness to belong to me

  • Fuck you definitely

  • Ugh

  • fuck off of borrowing please

  • oh do you still remember that one week in summer you visited your great aunt? I do not care about this story, remember it by yourself

  • quit bothering me

  • Where are you??

  • I’m too tired for folksing

  • Go away from my house, I don’t want to worry about your smallness

  • Leave me alone!!! you can steal from me or you can live in my house but you can’t do both at the same time

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AmZ
Nov 24, 2020

So, where I grew up (USSR/Russia), there was a version of Borrowers in children's lit, but with a utilitarian twist: they were Warranty Men, servicing household mechanisms and appliances.

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