I’d apologize for the spate of Frasier content recently, but the hour makes the man, not the other way around; take it up with the present period and its anxieties if you object. From the Wyckoff.
Chorus of Seattlites
Eddie, a dog
Seattle, before the apartments of FRASIER.
NILES and FRASIER emerge from the great front door.
My sibling, my Frasier, do you know
of any suffering from our further sprung
that Zeus does not achieve for us survivors?
There’s nothing grievous, nothing free from doom,
not shameful, not dishonored, I’ve not seen.
Your sufferings and mine.
And now, what of this edict which they say
the commander has proclaimed to the whole people?
Have you heard anything? Or don’t you know
that the foes’ trouble comes upon our friends?
I’ve heard no word, Niles, of our friends.
Not sweet nor bitter, since that single moment
when we lost two brothers
who died on one day by a double blow.
And since the Argive army went away
this very night, I have no further news
of fortune or disaster for myself.
It's times like this that most families
pull together and draw strength from each other...
What shall we do?
What is it? Clearly some news has clouded you.
It has indeed. Martin will give the one
of our two brothers honor in the tomb;
the other none.
None may bury him and none bewail,
but leave him unwept, untombed, a rich sweet sight
for the hungry birds’ beholding.
Further: he has the matter so at heart
that anyone who dares attempt the act
will die by public stoning in the town.
So there you have it and you soon will show
if you are noble, or fallen from your descent.
If things have reached this stage, what can I do,
poor brother, that will help to make or mend?
Frasier, you know I don’t lift. I want
to prove that I’m strong and independent,
and I can’t do that alone.
Think will you share my my labor and my act.
What will you risk? And where is your intent?
My Taekwondo instructor tells me I'm just two moves
away from becoming quite threatening. Will you take up that
corpse along with me?
To bury him, you mean, when it’s forbidden?
My brother, and yours, though you may wish he were not.
I never shall be found to be his traitor. Frasier,
I've formed a fist and I'm thinking of using it!
I will not have you turning a minor,
albeit annoying, situation into a Martin Scorsese film!
It’s not for Martin to keep me from my own.
Alas. Remember, brother, how our mother
perished abhorred, ill-famed.
Herself with her own hand, through her own curse
destroyed both eyes.
Remember next her mother and her husband
finishing life in the shame of the twisted strings.
And third, two brothers on a single day,
poor creatures, murdering, a common doom
each with his arm accomplished on the other.
And now look at the two of us alone.
We’ll perish terribly if we force law
We must remember that we two are psychiatrists
so not to fight with men.
The only things we Crane boys are skilled at catching
are sarcastic nuances and the occasional virus..
Remember, I’m a Jungian.
There’ll be no blaming Mother today.
Be what you want to; but that man shall I
bury. For me, the doer, death is best.
Friend shall I lie with him, yes friend with friend,
when I have dared the crime of piety.
There shall I lie forever. You may see fit
to keep from honor what the gods have honored.
I shall do no dishonor. But to act
against the citizens — I cannot. Seattle needs me.
Frasier, once again you suffer the tragedy of being clever and alone.
Oh my poor brother. How I fear for you!
You've given me something to mull over during my herbal wrap.
For me, don’t borrow trouble. Clear your fate.
At least give no one warning of this act;
you keep it hidden, and I’ll do the same.
I’ll feel safer if I’m packing heat.
For heaven’s sake, you don’t even know how to pack a lunch.
I know I please those whom I most should please.
And so, when strength runs out, I shall give over.
I shall suffer nothing
as great as dying with a lack of grace.
You know, this is sort of exciting.
Even as a child I always fancied I might
make a first-rate society cat burglar.
Go, since you want to. But know this: you go
senseless indeed, but loved by those who love you.
You are a good brother
and a credit to the psychiatric profession.
You’re a good brother, too.
[in front of Polyneices’ corpse]
Well, I'm here. I forgot to gargle, I'm wearing mismatched socks,
and I'm so nervous, I could wet myself.