The Lais of Marie de France: Bisclavret, or The Were-Wolf
[BISCLAVRET bites the KNIGHT who has married his wife repeatedly.]
THE COURT
Oh, this is so weird
THE KING
Normally he never does this
THE KNIGHT
[Bleeds]
THE COURT
Obviously this knight has done something wrong, because this dog never bites anyone
THE KING
Yeah, sorry, normally I’d pull him back, but he honestly never does this, so…
[BISCLAVRET’s former WIFE is presented at court before THE KING. BISCLAVRET bites off her nose in front of everyone]
THE KING
Oh, whoa
THE COURT
Yeah, wow
THE KING
Knock it off, Bisclavret — c’mere — good boy —
A CERTAIN WISE COUNSELLOR
Hearken ye a moment, sire. Is it not true that Bisclavret almost never bites the nose off of visitors to court?
THE KING
As true as Prester John reigns over all Nestorians and the children of Saint Thomas the Doubter, yes.
A CERTAIN WISE COUNSELLOR
So mayhap it should stand to reason that this woman has offended Bisclavret. Else why would he bite that whereof he has never bitten before?
THE KNIGHT [bleeding]
He did bite me, quite recently
THE KING
I hear ye, counsellor — and you too, knight. Either my dog has recently started biting people, and should be restrained, or you and this woman have somehow offended my dog, perhaps through treachery, perhaps maybe even when my dog once held the form of a man, and this is his only way of declaring the truth.
[BISCLAVRET yelps and nuzzles the KING’s boot]
THE KING
You see what I mean? This is what he’s usually like.
THE COURT
He really never bites anyone.
THE KING
Honestly, never. Take these two out of my sight and banish them from my kingdom. As for my dog; give him clothes and leave him alone in my bedroom. If I’m right, and he turns into a human man, we’re going to kiss one hundred times, maybe more.
A CERTAIN WISE COUNSELLOR
Because he’s such a good dog, it would just be really weird if he started biting people for no reason.
[BISCLAVRET, having received clothes, promptly falls asleep.]
THE KING
I knew it.
MARIE DE FRANCE
I wrote this so that all of France might remember the lessons we learned at court here today.
I am literally going to teach Bisclavret tomorrow in a college seminar on "Compelling Forms" (aka Early Modern Bodies), and it was *such* a delight to see this in my inbox. Thank you!
It is my fond desire to be someday referred to as "a wise counsellor" in someone else's memoirs, with no further identifying details (certainly not an actual name!) provided.