Things Brash, Horse-Loving Spinster Sisters Of Romantically Dour Protagonists Have Unnecessarily Died Of In Technicolor Melodramas

Oh, you know the type I mean – Maxim’s sister in Rebecca, Luz in Giant, and so forth, the kind of wind-bitten woman who rides up on a spirited chestnut about five minutes after the anxious new bride is deposited on the doorstep, housekeys a-janglin’, and says things like, “Oh, you mustn’t mind me – Clarence never does – but if you’ll take my advice, and…