Previously: Things Old Italian Men Have Said To Me About My New Dog. “Quanto costa? Quanto costa? [Inaudible due to I don’t speak Italian] She is good.”

“Oh, what’s this? What’s this, there’s another one? This is the other one? They like each other? They get along? They’re friends? Yeah, let me hold this one. They’re really friends?”

[Full disclosure, this was from an old Italian woman while I was waiting outside the CVS.] Are they brother and sister? Are they brothers? Are they young? Are you young? Are you a boy? Are you in your 20s? Are you in your 30s? Well, 30s is still young. Where did you go to college? I went to Brown and Yale. I’m 89!

What is that? What is that? Is that a toy? [on the phone] Shut your mouth, shut your mouth, shush, wait. [To me] Is it real? She’s real, she’s not a toy? How’d she get like that?

It’s so little! It’s so little, the little one. How little is it? You’re serious?

I know that dog! I know that dog! I know your dog. Where do I know that dog from? And there’s a second dog? Where is it? Oh my God, he was hiding behind the other one. What happened? What happened — what happened?

I bet you call him that because he’s gonna go everywhere with you. You gonna spoil him? You gonna spoil him good?

Hold on! Hold on! Hold on, lemme see that. Let me see. I used to have a dog, type of dog — I can’t remember the type. Toy. Toy something. Why can’t I remember the type? Real common type of dog. What was it? [I eventually guess ‘Yorkshire terrier.’] Yeah, toy Yorkie, she was — she hurt her knee, and we had to get her surgery. Look at him.

[At 6am] Who’s walkin’ who, huh? [Laughs] Who’s walkin’ who!