Watership Down, from someone who's never read it

I’ve sort of always more than half-assumed that the actual moment I fell behind all of the Truly Smart People when it comes to understanding things like materialism and economics is when I never got around to reading Watership Down as a child. I have declined to correct this by reading Watership Down as an adult, but sometimes I have a nice time imagining what all of you got out of it.

Chapter One: Father Blenheim’s Farm

Spex has a bloody vision of the future. Ma and Pa Scribbenwell die believing the prophecy to have been fulfilled. Lorne questions the radish- and root-law, while Fullbelly Applecakes scoffs at the suggestion of “winter.”

Chapter Two: The Rivening

In which the farmers of England are flayed.

Chapter Three: Fellows On The Road

A single-sentence, forty-page chapter about enclosure, agricultural revolution, the causes of riots, natural resource economics and the law of rent, the tragedy of the anticommons, and the latest discoveries in biomedical research

Chapter Four: A Female Character

Named…Snaps. Or Cheshirella.

Chapter Five: The Inquisitor’s Lament

Sunscythe betrays the Burrowers, and invents theodicy.

Chapter Six: Death of Female Character

Also the Carrot-Hoard falls prey to black mold.

Chapter Seven: Once More Under The Hedge

The badgers, who have never heard of theodicy, attack Father Blenheim’s farm, the Colony at Scapesfield, the neo-Rabbits in the government facilities, and the pilgrims on the road.

Chapter Eight: Traitorblood In The Christgarden

Sunscythe is tortured by the remaining Burrowers, and disavows theodicy, communism, and language itself before dying.

Chapter Nine: False Elysium And The Bitterest Cup

The final hopes of Snippers and Roadwaste are dashed.

Chapter Ten: Elysium Delayed

Turns out there was one last hope to dash. Roadwaste invents the trolley problem, and a new Colony springs up around Sunscythe’s bones, treating him as a martyr of black mold.