PAULIE: S’true, Ton. I had a cousin, sweetest guy you knew, finally got a T script, all of a sudden — irritable. You know. Short-tempered. Got that ‘roid rage. Aggressive.
CHRISTOPHER: That’s bullshit.
PAULIE: Hand to God. Had to put him down.
CHRISTOPHER: You’re tellin’ me some juice I can’t even see controls how high I’m gonna jump, how much osteoporosis my girlfriend’s gonna get? In my liver? That’s bullshit.
TONY: Janice of all people should disprove that theory. Never been on T a day in her life, and that woman couldn’t control her temper if you offered her a million dollars. Two.
SILVIO: Actually, T, that’s not quite true. Testosterone is the most abundant bio-active steroid hormone in women’s bodies. Helps support ovulation, for instance.
TONY: I already fuck with my shirt on, what do you want to tell me that for? How the fuck am I supposed to make a, fuck it’s called, an inform-consent decision about whether or not to go on T if now I’m supposed to start thinking about how great my ovulatin’s gonna get once I start?
PAULIE: T, all due respect — all due respect — the Bada Bing is a women’s space, and I think you at least gotta take that into consideration before you make a decision.
TONY: You saying I can’t come into the Bing? I created the Bing.
SILVIO: No one’s saying anything, Ton. You go wherever you feel led to go.
PAULIE: You just gotta be mindful, T.
CHRISTOPHER: I think it must just bring out what’s already there. You know, if you want to be aggressive, you’ll look for any reason to justify aggression.
SILVIO: And T isn’t just a sex hormone, neither. Men and women both got receptors for it in practically all kinds of tissue, and it contributes to bone health, cognitive function and mood, etcetera.
TONY: They got a receptor for shutting the fuck up?
A.J.: I heard if you stop taking T after top surgery, they grow back.
MEADOW [studying pre-med]: They do not grow back, you little twerp.
A.J.: They do too. They grow back, which sucks, because T makes you gay forever.
TONY: Say that again.
A.J.: I didn’t mean anything.
TONY: No, no, say that again so your mother can hear you.
TONY: Carmela says she knows a guy doing, ah, calls it ‘natural’ transition. Looked it up. Rotating fat burners, cycling Crytotest every six weeks, L-Glutamine, zinc, magnesium, practically fuckin’ living at the gym, DHEA, milk thistle, creatine, something called a fuckin’ “saponin.” What’s natural about that?
SILVIO: I hear ya.
TONY: Still, though.
SILVIO: Sure.
JUNIOR: "Who the fuck is Jatenzo?"
oh Chrissy, that heady balance of dumbshit machismo and social wokeness