Refusing basic garments for himself but redistributing precious dairy resources to the hungry hounds? I regret to inform you that this baby has gone full utopian anarchist. Total tiny chaos agent.
OH the Baby Crimes and Offenses Pamphlet is one of my very, very favorite genres. And you nailed it here. Also love the Baby Picaresque (tho that's a lot of speaking for the baby, and maybe he'd become overtired?), and the Baby Patter Song as other means of detailing the baby's crimes. The Obdurate Rogue!!!
Just so you know, you are not alone. There are in fact millions of other sufferers like you and I suggest you call the hotline, "Baby, Baby, Stick Your Head In Gravy." You'll find others out there who feel your pain. Good luck.
Whatever you don't don't get another one in deluded hope..there are many of these defective models about...I had two 40 years ago..so they clearly have not corrected the faults..Did yours come with a warranty???😂🤣 Thank you for this wonderful writing....
oh wow yeah that is definitely the strongest baby in the world and I've seen every single baby
I knew it!!!
As the representative of a candid world, I can say only: the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must.
Clearly an unrepentant criminal who must be locked away for the public safety. His cheeks alone could cause outbreaks of pinching.
Refusing basic garments for himself but redistributing precious dairy resources to the hungry hounds? I regret to inform you that this baby has gone full utopian anarchist. Total tiny chaos agent.
Blithely reading along until I got to: “…not never, not once, not even for a single day will he get smaller again.” 😭 cue the waterworks!
OH the Baby Crimes and Offenses Pamphlet is one of my very, very favorite genres. And you nailed it here. Also love the Baby Picaresque (tho that's a lot of speaking for the baby, and maybe he'd become overtired?), and the Baby Patter Song as other means of detailing the baby's crimes. The Obdurate Rogue!!!
Just so you know, you are not alone. There are in fact millions of other sufferers like you and I suggest you call the hotline, "Baby, Baby, Stick Your Head In Gravy." You'll find others out there who feel your pain. Good luck.
I loved reading this. It touched my heart. It was beautifully written and magical in many ways.
So delightful. Really enjoyed it.
lol, “his little ravioli-shaped fists”…almost made my coffee spurt out my nose!
Welcome back to the West Coast! Large chunks of it are on fire! In the winter!
I have already asked him if he had anything to do with the fires down south and he did not deny it
I object! Circumstantial!
Whatever you don't don't get another one in deluded hope..there are many of these defective models about...I had two 40 years ago..so they clearly have not corrected the faults..Did yours come with a warranty???😂🤣 Thank you for this wonderful writing....
As many of us know, The Toast must be consumed enthusiastically during its short but sweet lifespan.
The remaining crimes however do show evidence of a dastardly character.
I can attest, I have his future bride, my 9 month old great granddaughter who terrorizes me with these many same torturous deeds 5 days every week!
Old Pa Kent must've had this kind of experience with little Kal-El.
I would have a difficult time sleeping at night with such a dangerous little creature in my home.
Sending you wishes for liberation... and hopes that the baby will grow in strength and mercy in equal measures!