I absolutely love the smell of cigarette smoke. I've never smoked a cigarette because I know I'll love it, and getting addicted to cigarettes in your 30s isn't exactly a smart thing to do. I smoke joints instead and hope for the best (is it all that different?) Also, Barbara is incredibly relatable. Friendship with someone who knows how to be mean IS incredible, and also dangerous. I can't wait for this book!
For what it's worth, I've only smoked a handful of cigarettes in my life and I do get excited when I get to walk past someone smoking, because the smell takes me back to high school and the group of smoking friends I used to hang out with. This might be unpopular but I can't imagine I'm the only one!
I absolutely relate to the mutual dislike thing. I dated someone for awhile who worked in the same industry as I did so we shared social networks from before the relationship, and the two of us were never a good match for each other except that we hated the exact same people. Our best days were when one of us came back with some cruel new gossip or story, and we would laugh and howl and insult together.
I don’t entirely share Barbara’s opinion on almost anything, but I think it’s interesting to consider what people get out of cruelty and triangulation — how it benefits them, how it can cement certain intimacies, how it requires repeated justification.
I hope you are able to leave the smoking behind again soon. I think it is very artificially seductive to think about smoking as merely an emotional experience, when in reality it is a physical one. I had to watch a grandparent endure death by emphysema, and it was a terrible thing as a young teenager to see someone I loved drowning and choking all day every day, attached to an oxygen tank, until his death. It is so easy to be buoyed along by the lie that our society (and manufacturers) concocted to make cigarettes seem chic. As someone who has loved your work for over a decade, I think that you as a person, a parent, and an artist have so much to offer the world. It would be a terrible shame to lose any part of your life to that lie.
possibly you know this and are already showering between smoking and being with your kid, but there's not just second hand smoke, there's this tertiary smoke thing. I didn't learn about until i had a kid on the way, and maybe still wouldn't know about it otherwise. Even if you only smoke away from home, your kid can pick up actual exposure from touching your hair/skin/clothes afterwards. There's some science links in this thread if you want to see: https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/1mn8j73/any_data_on_harmful_effects_of_parent_smoking/
again maybe you know all about this but I couldn't *not* share it, just in case!
I absolutely love the smell of cigarette smoke. I've never smoked a cigarette because I know I'll love it, and getting addicted to cigarettes in your 30s isn't exactly a smart thing to do. I smoke joints instead and hope for the best (is it all that different?) Also, Barbara is incredibly relatable. Friendship with someone who knows how to be mean IS incredible, and also dangerous. I can't wait for this book!
For what it's worth, I've only smoked a handful of cigarettes in my life and I do get excited when I get to walk past someone smoking, because the smell takes me back to high school and the group of smoking friends I used to hang out with. This might be unpopular but I can't imagine I'm the only one!
Love it! How could I get a review copy? An essay pitch idea is taking shape...
email me a good address (dannymlavery@gmail.com) and i’ll get you a copy!
I absolutely relate to the mutual dislike thing. I dated someone for awhile who worked in the same industry as I did so we shared social networks from before the relationship, and the two of us were never a good match for each other except that we hated the exact same people. Our best days were when one of us came back with some cruel new gossip or story, and we would laugh and howl and insult together.
I don’t entirely share Barbara’s opinion on almost anything, but I think it’s interesting to consider what people get out of cruelty and triangulation — how it benefits them, how it can cement certain intimacies, how it requires repeated justification.
I hope you are able to leave the smoking behind again soon. I think it is very artificially seductive to think about smoking as merely an emotional experience, when in reality it is a physical one. I had to watch a grandparent endure death by emphysema, and it was a terrible thing as a young teenager to see someone I loved drowning and choking all day every day, attached to an oxygen tank, until his death. It is so easy to be buoyed along by the lie that our society (and manufacturers) concocted to make cigarettes seem chic. As someone who has loved your work for over a decade, I think that you as a person, a parent, and an artist have so much to offer the world. It would be a terrible shame to lose any part of your life to that lie.
I do hear that! Quitting plans are underway.
glad to hear that, and good luck!
possibly you know this and are already showering between smoking and being with your kid, but there's not just second hand smoke, there's this tertiary smoke thing. I didn't learn about until i had a kid on the way, and maybe still wouldn't know about it otherwise. Even if you only smoke away from home, your kid can pick up actual exposure from touching your hair/skin/clothes afterwards. There's some science links in this thread if you want to see: https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/1mn8j73/any_data_on_harmful_effects_of_parent_smoking/
again maybe you know all about this but I couldn't *not* share it, just in case!
yes i’m aware