Dialogue from a recent walk in the woods with my two-year-old when a pair of fire trucks unexpectedly drove into the meadow

"They’re all done driving. They have a light that flashes, that beeps, that goes Beep Beep Beep. There’s a button on the bus. You cannot push it. Let’s look at it. So? So? So?"

We’re not gonna put sunscreen on your head. We’re not gonna put sunscreen on your head.

We’re gonna have to put sunscreen on your head, little man.

We’re not gonna put sunscreen on your head. You’re gonna get a sunburn.

We’re putting on sunscreen. Almost done.

[Crying].

Okay, let’s go look for blackberries.

We’re gonna look for blackberries in the woods. Green is no good.

That’s right. Green is no good. You gotta let them wait. Red is okay, but not great.

[I extend my right forefinger and he takes it in his left hand.]

We’re holding hands. We’re walking in the woods.

Yeah.

There’s a lady up there. There’s a dog. Yeah.

Yeah.

We’re going to get water from a water fountain. We’re going to get water.

Rocco, look. They’re shooting bows and arrows there.

They shoot bows and arrows there. Like the guys

Who else shoots bows and arrows?

Robin Hood and Little John…It doesn’t turn on. [It turns on] It’s working…we’re gonna go to a bathroom. We’re gonna go to a bathroom and close the door…we’re gonna use the bathroom.

Rocco, do you want to climb this rock? You want to climb this rock?

You want to use the bathroom.

You want to be inside or outside?

Yeah.

You don’t need that. You don’t need any more paper towels.

You don’t need paper in the woods.

You want to go see another water fountain?

Hi. Hi. Hi. Good morning…Good morning…Good morning…it’s great to stay up late¹…I don’t want to see a blackberry. You want papa to get?

Okay, I’ll get it for you.

[He eats a blackberry.] This one is too green…it has to grow. Too spiky. Oh no, I tripped. Do you want to have that berry?²

Okay, I’ll get it.

That’s a big dog…that dog wants to eat some water. I want to press the button.

Okay, that’s enough water.

Trucks. Here come the trucks. Look at the fire trucks.

Let me know if we’re too close. You guys don’t mind?

They’re all done driving. They have a light that flashes, that beeps, that goes Beep Beep Beep. There’s a button on the bus. You cannot push it. Let’s look at it. So? So? So?

Yeah, you can’t push it.

There’s a door on the bus…he’s thinking about it. I kicked the bus

Yeah, you did.

You did. I can’t open this door.

I think it’s locked.

Because a guy closed it and it’s locked.

Yeah

I’m a very curious baby…I think it’s a guy’s fire truck…my hands are filthy.

A little bit, yeah. It’s okay to get dirty in the woods.

There’s a hose…the guys might use it. [Slapping his hands against the footrail] It’s like a bongo! My sticker is on the bus…There’s a light that flashed…wee ooh wee ooh…I tripped in the grass. I see some more blackberries.

Yeah, let me get that one.

You can try…I think it’s locked…gonna get on the other one on the one (?) it’s like a bongo…those are a part of a wheel [Sings “Wheels on the Bus”]. It’s like a piano. Stuck to the bus!

[I fix his pant leg.]

Not us…not our bus…wheels…the guys…he likes fire trucks and the wheels, definitely…definitely…Do you wanna sing “Make ‘Em Laugh”?

[I sing a few bars].

You want to go back up the hill?

[No answer.]

You want to go back up the hill to the planetarium? The planetarium should be open now.

Panetarium pagatarium.

Yeah

We’re going to the planetarium. We’re going to ride the elevator on the planetarium. You’re going to…you’re going to press two on the elevator. You’re going to press five on the elevator.

Yeah, we can do that

Here we go here we go

1. Rocco has seen four movies in his life and one of them is Singin’ in the Rain. He asks me to sing “Good Morning” 400 times a day, but he’s still in the pronoun-reversal stage so he will make his demand in the following fashion: “You want to hear ‘Good Morning?’” Only very recently has he begun trying to sing it himself. It is cute beyond imagining.

2. Be advised that he pronounces the th in that as l, so it sounds more like “You want lat blackberry?”