Previously in this series: Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility, and Mansfield Park.
MR WOODHOUSE: Good morning
who’s ready to start cheering me up
but do not cheer me up by suggesting we go places
i’ve given it a lot of thought and it is not possible to go anywhere or visit anyone
EMMA: I had thought we could visit the Westons
MR WOODHOUSE: Emma you’re a very kind girl and I’m sure you’re at least five foot six but you sound insane. Do not say insane things. How would we get there
EMMA: I had thought we could take our carriage
MR WOODHOUSE: And, and, what will the horses do once we get there? Have you ever thought of that? You haven’t thought about the horses, Emma. You’re a sweet child but you haven’t thought about the horses
EMMA: Papa, they could rest in the stables while we go inside the house
People do that with their horses every day
MR WOODHOUSE: You’re a very nice piece of furniture or whatever you are but it will never work, never…..people can’t just get married and leave the house and put horses in stables. You’re living in a fantasy world, Emma
MR KNIGHTLEY [Coming in calmly from outside]: Hello
MR WOODHOUSE: Jesus CHRIST
call a doctor
can’t you see this man’s been outside
EMMA: Mr Elton has so much furniture now
He deserves a wife. And I will find her for him
No one else will appreciate how many chairs he has
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