Emma

Previously in this series: Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility, and Mansfield Park.

MR WOODHOUSE: Good morning

who’s ready to start cheering me up

but do not cheer me up by suggesting we go places

i’ve given it a lot of thought and it is not possible to go anywhere or visit anyone

EMMA: I had thought we could visit the Westons

MR WOODHOUSE: Emma you’re a very kind girl and I’m sure you’re at least five foot six but you sound insane. Do not say insane things. How would we get there

EMMA: I had thought we could take our carriage

MR WOODHOUSE: And, and, what will the horses do once we get there? Have you ever thought of that? You haven’t thought about the horses, Emma. You’re a sweet child but you haven’t thought about the horses

EMMA: Papa, they could rest in the stables while we go inside the house

People do that with their horses every day

MR WOODHOUSE: You’re a very nice piece of furniture or whatever you are but it will never work, never…..people can’t just get married and leave the house and put horses in stables. You’re living in a fantasy world, Emma

MR KNIGHTLEY [Coming in calmly from outside]: Hello

MR WOODHOUSE: Jesus CHRIST

call a doctor

can’t you see this man’s been outside

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EMMA: Mr Elton has so much furniture now

He deserves a wife. And I will find her for him

No one else will appreciate how many chairs he has