Evelyn Waugh eats the bananas

Three things: 1. This week, in my capacity as an advice columnist I learned about "birthday spanking," a tradition I was previously unfamiliar with. My final ruling on the subject is that time marches on, that mainstream society has left behind lighthearted spanking-based customs in the same way we have generally left behind spanking as a Totally Unquestioned And Normal Thing We Do To Kids, and it's a great idea to let the birthday spanking recede into the past, along with littering after picnics and Fruitopia. This has resulted in a great many letters, mostly from men of a certain age, who wish to communicate to me three things, and three things only:

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