Grace Lavery on Grace Lavery: “Here’s the essay on British gender critical feminists’ capture of juridical and media institutions that I’ve been trying to place all year, finally published in Foreign Policy.” I’ve had a front-row seat to the waves of harassment Grace has received from TERFs over the last year, and it’s often been dispiriting to see how easy it is for someone with nothing more than a double-barreled last name and some anti-trans animus publish variations on “Trans People: Why Do They Mean To Eat Wimbledon?” in major newspapers. Often, between the relentless vitriol and the sneering “it’s just common sense that you’re perverse garbage” tone, I find myself wanting to ignore the existence of transphobes entirely. They are exhausting on purpose! And yet is possible to counter them with elegance and clarity of thought. I am grateful Grace has done so here:
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are both dealing with this--Grace as the target of this crap, and Danny as the person who obviously loves his wife and is also hurt and angered, I'm sure, by the hatred and the ugliness. I just find it heart-wrenching how many people have to spew hate when what they're feeling is confusion or possibly an amorphous threat they are feeling that they don't understand, so have to beat it back with a stick or...what? Be overcome by it, or ignore it, or god forbid have a world where adult humans can just live their adult human lives with love and dignity and laundry detergent and all of it?
I have two young adult daughters, one of whom identifies as queer, and what that means for her is an evolving thing. I don't always understand where she is at every moment, but I do understand my job is to love and support her no matter what, and respect her right to define who she is. I also feel like it is none of business, mostly, except hope that she is safe and happy-ish, and everyone else in the world--it's just none of my business.
It is nobody else's right, or privilege, or law, to get to say who another human is, even if that human is your child, and even less so if that human is a total stranger to you who is just living their life and expressing their opinions and trying to raise awareness for others. I wish you both peace and love and a good holiday season, and keep fighting the good fight and try not to let the bastards get you down.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are both dealing with this--Grace as the target of this crap, and Danny as the person who obviously loves his wife and is also hurt and angered, I'm sure, by the hatred and the ugliness. I just find it heart-wrenching how many people have to spew hate when what they're feeling is confusion or possibly an amorphous threat they are feeling that they don't understand, so have to beat it back with a stick or...what? Be overcome by it, or ignore it, or god forbid have a world where adult humans can just live their adult human lives with love and dignity and laundry detergent and all of it?
I have two young adult daughters, one of whom identifies as queer, and what that means for her is an evolving thing. I don't always understand where she is at every moment, but I do understand my job is to love and support her no matter what, and respect her right to define who she is. I also feel like it is none of business, mostly, except hope that she is safe and happy-ish, and everyone else in the world--it's just none of my business.
It is nobody else's right, or privilege, or law, to get to say who another human is, even if that human is your child, and even less so if that human is a total stranger to you who is just living their life and expressing their opinions and trying to raise awareness for others. I wish you both peace and love and a good holiday season, and keep fighting the good fight and try not to let the bastards get you down.