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“Oh, that’s terribly kind of you, but I’ve already had one at lunch.”
“That doesn’t look like anything to me.”
“I’ve got so many compliments at home I already never use. I’m afraid taking another simply wouldn’t be fair – it would never get the kind of attention and appreciation I’m sure it deserves.”
“Oh dear, I’m afraid you must be thinking of someone else.”
“I’m afraid it would instantly kill me, to think about that.”
“I’m afraid that’s not possible at the moment.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help you with this, but I am authorized to offer you a series of diverting questions of equal value about yourself, if you’re interested.”
“I’m very busy taking care of my family and adjusting to the new normal. Thanks for the offer, but I’ll have to pass.”
“This isn’t right for me or my circumstances, but I hope you can find a good home for this compliment soon!”
“While I won’t be able to receive one myself, I’d be more than happy to connect you with someone else who can.”
“Thank you so much for your interest; unfortunately, I have a previous engagement and am not presently here to properly appreciate this compliment. Thanks again for thinking of me, and best of luck finding a recipient!”
“Sorry I can’t stop! Late for a meeting! Can’t hear you, meeting!”
“Let me check my schedule – ah, it’s as I feared. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I have other obligations that take priority, and couldn’t possibly take on the extra self-consciousness.”
“Thanks, but I’m terribly full.”
“I’m afraid I can’t understand what you’re saying. We must be getting our wires crossed today.”
“I’m sorry, but I already made plans to give someone else a compliment today, which will require my full time and attention, so I won’t be home to sign for yours.”
“Oh, how tiresome! I’m afraid I’m out of town just at present. Damn! I bet I really would have enjoyed that compliment, too.”
“I must be ignored, Dan.”
“Sorry, accepting this perspective on myself just isn’t in my budget right now.”
“I really enjoyed learning more about your perspective, but after careful consideration, I’ve decided this information about myself isn’t right for me at this time. I shall watch your future career with considerable interest!”
“I don’t think this compliment and I will be a good match, but thanks just the same.”
“I’m sorry, my hands are full.”
“I’m really trying not to focus on myself at the moment.”
“I don’t even use the compliments I already have at home!”
“I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to receive a compliment about something I work very, very hard never to think about. But thanks for reaching out.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” [Softly blink red once, then twice.]
[Image via]
How To Deflect Compliments
"Sorry, accepting this perspective on myself just isn’t in my budget right now." -- works for insults, too!
Thank you for this epic sequel to my all-time fave toast post.