Grace says "danny i love your fridge piece! if you mention that i had *made* the hot sauce from scratch using lacto-fermented red currants as a base i would also like that" which is a very good point
The concept of pickled red currant hot sauce is certainly novel. (And also _extremely_ Brooklyn.) Did it even use any vinegar, or just the lactic acid produced from the pickled currants?
I think it's clear to everyone that to lay a bottle of hot sauce diagonally across the tops of other jars is tantamount to smashing that bottle on the floor yourself.
I can see the noble suffering in your gaze. Your art is filled with intention, regardless of any small flaws that may have crept in only due to inadequate tools and not to ineptitude.
ohhhhhh Danny, we are fridge anger twins, because my fridge has a special door shelf jar holder thing which is designed in such a way that if you EVER close the fridge door extra firmly in anger, even a little bit, it senses your Bad Vibes and immediately falls all the way off, dropping every single bottle and jar down into the bottom of the fridge and shattering at least two of them every time without fail. Nothing to bring one to a healthy acceptance and serenity re: ones occasional mild frustration and crankiness like having a huffy little door slam translated into DEVASTATION AND BROKEN GLASS for no god damn reason!!!!! If I then burst into tears my partner usually cleans it up for me though, so at least there's that. I lack your commitment to martyrdom; if I'm at the point where the fridge can sense my anger I know don't have enough equanimity to be cleaning broken glass off the floor.
I'll admit I often have full-on pleading conversations with kitchen appliances and electronics. "Please? I just, I need you to listen, I need you to work with me on this, please...!"
My problem with our fridge is that my spouse has this bizarre ability to remember where they last put things in it, and in general doesn't seem to _mind_ needing to clear six things out of the way to find something. Whereas for myself, if something is even a whisker displaced from where I expect it to be, it might as well be invisible. Ideally I want everything to be directly in my line of sight when I open the door, and so I make a fairly significant effort to organize short things in the front, and taller things behind. My spouse, on the other hand, simply shoves things in at random. They will even take out the cream, pour a bit in coffee, and then put it back in a _different spot_. Sheer insanity.
When once in a while they _do_ forget that they put something in there, a month later, I'll end up pulling that thing out in the course of painstakingly excavating the stuff in the back in order to re-organize, and ask them why they are wasting space and blocking my view with moldy leftovers.
I just went through stages 1-4 of this process with a shower curtain rod falling down 😑, and I have to say this is a terribly accurate rendering of the aftermath of a household accident. Great job!
In addition to blaming the fallen object, the word processor, the tripping power cord, etc., I am also fond of informing it that:
1. This is the *only thing* it is supposed to do, so it should just do it right;
2. That no one ever has or would ask its opinion (about whether it should or should not fall out of the cabinet, about whether or not it should mess with all my section headings and change the spacing and indents), so it can kindly shut the fuck up.
Have you ever considered making calendars of your western art series…? Never thought I’d reach out with such a counter-literary comment, but I sure would like one each of the women politely shrugging off men and the monks inventing stuff. Ahem. Innocently capitalistically yours, -Beth
Grace says "danny i love your fridge piece! if you mention that i had *made* the hot sauce from scratch using lacto-fermented red currants as a base i would also like that" which is a very good point
Grace absolutely rocks, of course. ❤️
The concept of pickled red currant hot sauce is certainly novel. (And also _extremely_ Brooklyn.) Did it even use any vinegar, or just the lactic acid produced from the pickled currants?
we’re in Michigan now, which might be even more Brooklyn than that! I’ll ask her about the process
I think it's clear to everyone that to lay a bottle of hot sauce diagonally across the tops of other jars is tantamount to smashing that bottle on the floor yourself.
I can see the noble suffering in your gaze. Your art is filled with intention, regardless of any small flaws that may have crept in only due to inadequate tools and not to ineptitude.
ohhhhhh Danny, we are fridge anger twins, because my fridge has a special door shelf jar holder thing which is designed in such a way that if you EVER close the fridge door extra firmly in anger, even a little bit, it senses your Bad Vibes and immediately falls all the way off, dropping every single bottle and jar down into the bottom of the fridge and shattering at least two of them every time without fail. Nothing to bring one to a healthy acceptance and serenity re: ones occasional mild frustration and crankiness like having a huffy little door slam translated into DEVASTATION AND BROKEN GLASS for no god damn reason!!!!! If I then burst into tears my partner usually cleans it up for me though, so at least there's that. I lack your commitment to martyrdom; if I'm at the point where the fridge can sense my anger I know don't have enough equanimity to be cleaning broken glass off the floor.
I'll admit I often have full-on pleading conversations with kitchen appliances and electronics. "Please? I just, I need you to listen, I need you to work with me on this, please...!"
That's how I talk to my printer.
I have this sort of conversation with my cat. "Livvy, I need you to work with me..."
My problem with our fridge is that my spouse has this bizarre ability to remember where they last put things in it, and in general doesn't seem to _mind_ needing to clear six things out of the way to find something. Whereas for myself, if something is even a whisker displaced from where I expect it to be, it might as well be invisible. Ideally I want everything to be directly in my line of sight when I open the door, and so I make a fairly significant effort to organize short things in the front, and taller things behind. My spouse, on the other hand, simply shoves things in at random. They will even take out the cream, pour a bit in coffee, and then put it back in a _different spot_. Sheer insanity.
When once in a while they _do_ forget that they put something in there, a month later, I'll end up pulling that thing out in the course of painstakingly excavating the stuff in the back in order to re-organize, and ask them why they are wasting space and blocking my view with moldy leftovers.
It is an eternal struggle.
I just went through stages 1-4 of this process with a shower curtain rod falling down 😑, and I have to say this is a terribly accurate rendering of the aftermath of a household accident. Great job!
You are SO BRAVE. What you've been through...the heart shudders!
There are men dead on EVEREST who have seen less than you.
Call him Ishmael.
The description of the drawing of the fridge reminded me in some way of some of Myles na gCopaleen's writings (this is a good thing).
you don't have to tell me twice!! that's a compliment I'll snatch up without a second's hesitation
Also, death to fridges.
fridge v. man is everything to me. more Danny artwork in future PLEASE.
Oh look, it me.
I think your drawing is great, and I'm in awe of your skill. I cannot draw a person realistically.
In addition to blaming the fallen object, the word processor, the tripping power cord, etc., I am also fond of informing it that:
1. This is the *only thing* it is supposed to do, so it should just do it right;
2. That no one ever has or would ask its opinion (about whether it should or should not fall out of the cabinet, about whether or not it should mess with all my section headings and change the spacing and indents), so it can kindly shut the fuck up.
Dear Daniel,
Have you ever considered making calendars of your western art series…? Never thought I’d reach out with such a counter-literary comment, but I sure would like one each of the women politely shrugging off men and the monks inventing stuff. Ahem. Innocently capitalistically yours, -Beth
Or coffee mugs. I would buy one.
I’d buy a calendar & a mug!
I love to laugh & I love reading your stories because they are just the right sort of humor. You obviously understand the human condition!