Jane Austen's Persuasion, Part II

Previously: Persuasion, Part I.

how to spend less money on same amount of nice things as before

where does money come from

find money for handsome baronets

money for handsomeness

MR. MUSGROVE: Anne, do you mind playing the piano while all the women dance with Mr. Wentworth?

Women love to dance, you know

It’s funny, I suppose you technically are a woman too, but one never thinks of you in that way, somehow

I think of you as a sort of helpful animal, like a dog that can tell you when a house is on fire

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NARRATOR: Wentworth was to be credited for demonstrating compassion for a fat woman who was mourning her worthless son

ANNE ELLIOT: How kind Wentworth is being — and to a fat woman mourning her piece of shit dead son, whom nobody ever cared for while he was living!

NARRATOR: It’s difficult to take grief seriously when it comes from somebody who isn’t thin

ANNE ELLIOT: If only she were thin

How we might all feel for Mrs. Musgrove then!

NARRATOR: It’s like the old saying: Thinness breeds sympathy

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MR. MUSGROVE: Do you know, I think Henrietta and Louisa are both equally interested in this Wentworth

MRS. MUSGROVE: Are they really? Isn’t Henrietta engaged?

MR. MUSGROVE: In some ways she is and in some ways she isn’t

I’ve never formally prevented Charles from paying her attention

In accordance with my “let’s wait and see how things shake out” parenting policy

I say we let them fight over it

see what happens

Charles is out of town anyways

MRS. MUSGROVE: I’ve always said that romantic competition is good for sisters

Gives them something in common, something to bond over

MR. MUSGROVE: And there’s something unsporting about leaving town before getting engaged — like leaving your man on base

MRS. MUSGROVE: Then it’s settled:

the girls will fight it out on their own, no quarter asked or given

Nothing sharpens your wits faster than a battle to the altar with a sibling or two

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MARY: I wish to God Henrietta would think of her nephews before getting engaged willy-nilly to the first impoverished cousin who looks at her

Nobody ever thinks of their nephews anymore when it comes to getting married

Which of the Musgrove girls do you think Captain Wentworth is likeliest to marry, Anne?

ANNE: I’d like to stop having dinner from now on, I think…just start going to bed directly after lunch, if nobody minds

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LOUISA: Hello…Just popping in to say hi real quick…

we’re about to take a long walk, back in a bit

MARY: What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t love long walks, is that the implication? Why would you come to my house just to inform me I’m incapable of sauntering? I love long walks. I was about to go on one myself not five minutes ago, probably longer than your walk, if it comes down to comparing the two.

Sit down while I get my shoes on. We’re all walking today

[At Winthrop]

MARY: That’s far enough. There’s no earthly reason for anyone to walk further than Winthrop. Someone had better be prepared to carry me home

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CAPTAIN WENTWORTH: My sister and her husband must be enjoying this lovely weather during their carriage ride today

LOUISA: No yes that’s it exactly

because if I happened to be in love, as your sister loves her husband, I would rather be in a carriage ride with my husband than anywhere else on earth, even if it killed me. I would not even care if I died as long as I were in my husband’s carriage

CAPTAIN WENTWORTH: That’s very admirable

[A pause]

LOUISA: Incidentally my sister almost changed her mind about visiting our cousins

I know that you feel the same way I do about people who change their minds and I told her to never change her mind and that I will never change my mind and that the best part of having a mind is never changing it

and being steadfast and resolute, like a ship in the Navy

I’m just like you and always have been

CAPTAIN WENTWORTH: Well, I think that’s terrific. And I hope you will always be steadfast, and that you will teach your sister to be firm…like this hazelnut here

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ADMIRAL CROFT: Anne! How nice to see you here. You’re just in time to join us in speculating which of the young women in this neighborhood are likeliest to marry Captain Wentworth

I’m not sure why, but I always think of you as a helpful dog in such situations…like one of those smart and specially trained dogs who know how to count, and evaluate statistics, that they show at court sometimes

there are so many delightful girls in this neighborhood I hardly know which one he will marry first!

MRS. CROFT: I don’t think I’d go quite that far.

I mean, there are girls living here

but more than that I’m not prepared to say

and I think of Anne as a very highly trained, very old pony that works for the circus, or used to

or a military band

an old horse that’s seen a lot and maybe knows how to play a few notes on the trumpet

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