Calling on Talleyrand.
Wet in the country, dry by Sunday.
The smaller of two pocket-books.
All ulcer, no stomach.
Two taps turning but no shower
A confirmed nephew.
Grocery-bill habits on a washerwoman’s diet
A little below the salt-line, if you know what I mean
Nothing but biscuit-water.
Chums with Aloysius
All’s soap what isn’t gravy
Just to the left of cake
Cut the honey
What Tim can’t, Tucker can.
Grease your feet, or use your feet to grease a mountain — it’s all the same grease.
Like drinking bat soup without a net.
A boy with eighty-five turnips is liable to give his sister thirty.
A hog with ears too far back can’t hear himself squeal.
It’s never Easter Sunday until it is
An only child can always find its own way upstairs
Don’t leave the barn to look for cows.
What’s the Lippman’s Consensus on this?
God sees a trucker
Closer to house than a tan fish
A hard hand to milk
If you wrestle a miller, don’t complain about flour in your bed.
A singed cat never sees the hen-house twice.
Don’t send a penny down a farthing-hole.
Don’t kill what you can’t bury.
Spend on pancakes, lose on sleep.
If the mirror shows meat, don’t bet on beans.
Never put in the soup what you couldn’t chop yourself.
He had that certain rooster-in-a-cathedral look about him.
Still 40 after all these years
Lost is as good as burned.
Don’t make an umbrella out of a stepping-stone.
Tall socks, short ankles.
You’ve got to sit on the pillow if you cross-stitched the cover.
Having a dime’s worth of bear trouble.
That’s a long piece of short Betsy.
True as McGlook!
All amazing, though "Don’t kill what you can’t bury" is on a whole other level
Some of these are so plausible I will probably start saying them and eventually forget they were supposed to be a joke