11 Comments
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Alex (they/them)'s avatar

All amazing, though "Don’t kill what you can’t bury" is on a whole other level

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Andrea's avatar

That and "don’t leave the barn to look for cows" - I'm just not 100% sure there wasn't a genuine ghost of an Indiana great grandmother whispering in Danny's ear on some of these.

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reedeliot's avatar

Agreed! And "If you wrestle a miller don't complain about flour in your bed!" Wow. Gotta remember that fighting with jerks on Twitter

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reedeliot's avatar

Agreed! And "If you wrestle a miller don't complain about flour in your bed!" Wow. Gotta remember that fighting with jerks on Twitter

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Andrea's avatar

Some of these are so plausible I will probably start saying them and eventually forget they were supposed to be a joke

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Andrea's avatar

Then again, I DOOOO tend to be a little bit below the salt line sometimes, if you know what I mean.

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עזראַ's avatar

gonna get one of those "women want me fish fear me" hats with "g-d sees a trucker" embroidered on that bad boy

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Soxie Malone's avatar

DON'T KILL WHAT YOU CAN'T BURY

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sethdmichaels's avatar

i already have use-cases in mind for multiples of these, including "Just to the left of cake," "Don’t leave the barn to look for cows," and "If the mirror shows meat, don’t bet on beans."

i once read the expression "the wish is father to the belief" in a Warhammer RPG module and used it for years before i learned it wasn't a common aphorism

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reedeliot's avatar

Finally had an opportunity to use one of these in a twitter thread while arguing with a reverend and a nazi (two separate people simultaneously) and I gotta say, it absolutely killed. Thank you.

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