"Spring Forth, Burly Protector, and Save Me!"

Most childhoods are essentially feudal; The Simpsons understood this. No single child holds his peace and security in his own right, but in fief granted by an overlord in return for allegiance or service. Thus in “Lemon of Troy,” when Martin is paired with Nelson during the raid on Shelbyville, he immediately understands the dramatic improvement in status that must inevitably result from such an alliance. Normally the mildest-mannered of fourth-graders, Martin immediately grabs a boy selling lemonade by the shirtfront and announces, “Okay, piglet — start squealing. Where’d you get the lemons for this lemonade?”

Martin’s newfound self-assurance is not even fazed by the threatening appearance of the boy’s older brother. He merely declares that “No one manhandles the boson chum of Nelson Muntz — Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!,” arms wriggling overhead like Olive Oyl’s. He is no longer Martin-qua-Martin but Martin-of-Nelson, and like all frequently-bullied children, he knows his rights. It does not matter whether Nelson dislikes Martin, or that he is Martin’s most frequent tormenter back at home. They have been assigned buddy status for the duration of the trip, and a threat to one is a threat to both.

Importantly, there is to this day a “Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!” law still on the books in the English Channel Islands of Guernsey and Jersey. A citizen who believes themselves to be wronged can cry out “Haro! Haro! Haro! À l’aide, mon prince, on me fait tort!” and expect redress. From Citizens Advice Jersey:

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How is it raised?

The Clameur is raised by the aggrieved party, known as the criant, going down on one knee on the threatened property and, bareheaded, hands clasped, and in the presence of two witnesses, saying in the hearing of the alleged wrongdoer: “Haro, Haro, Haro, a l’aide mon Prince, on me fait tort” (Haro, Haro, Haro, Come to my aid, my Prince, I am being wronged).

What happens then?

The alleged wrongdoer must immediately cease actions until the Royal Court has decided whether or not the Clameur has been correctly raised. If they do not stop, they are liable to be fined, even if the Court eventually finds in their favour.

What if the Clameur is raised wrongfully?

Anyone thinking of raising the Clameur must be sure of their grounds, as a person who raises the Clameur wrongfully is liable to a fine.

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The 1911 Encyclopedia Britannica entry cites “popular derivation” for the name “which explains ‘Haro’ as an abbreviation of ‘Ha! Rollo,’ a direct appeal to Rollo, first duke of Normandy,” which would be incredible, before saying “It is far more probably that haro is simply an exclamation to call attention (OH.G. hero, hara, “here”!).” Also “This appeal has to be respected, and the alleged trespass or tort must cease till the matter has been thrashed out in the courts. The “cry” thus acts as an interim injunction, and no inhabitant of the Channel Islands would think of resisting it.”

An old article from Business Law Basics claims that the Clameur was used most notably by a man named Asselin FitzArthur during the burial of William the Conqueror, although I’m not quite sure I see it — in Orderic Vitalis’ “Funeral of the Conqueror,” Asselin’s objection reads as follows:

Then Ascelin, son of Arthur, came forward from the crowd, and preferred the following complaint with a loud voice, in the hearing of all: ‘The land,’ he said, ‘on which you stand was the yard belonging to my father’s house, which that man for whom you pray, when he was yet only duke of Normandy, took forcible possession of, and in the teeth of all justice, by an exercise of tyrannical power, here founded this abbey. I therefore lay claim to this land, and openly demand its restitution, and in God’s name I forbid the body of the spoiler being covered with earth which is my property, and buried in my inheritance.”¹

A remarkable scene, and a compelling speech, but if you don’t wave your arms over your head like Olive Oyl and shout “Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!” I don’t think it counts as a real Clameur.

1. I’m no lawyer, and I certainly don’t wish to reopen old wounds, but this hardly seems fair: William’s father Rollo took Normandy from Charles the Simple quasi fundum et allodium, which entitled him to grant use of land to whichever followers he liked. Sounds to me like Ascelin was a sore loser.