I like to think I have grown out of a reflexive fixation on British quirkiness, that strange combination of mascotization, obsessive pigtail-pulling, and lack of perspective that characterizes so much of white American interest in white Britishness, that focuses almost exclusively on oddities in nomenclature. But when Grace reminded me the other day of what first-graders what her old school were called (“Shells”) and why (“It’s a contraction of “Sharing,” which is itself a contraction of “Fresh Herring”), I lost myself to myself. Here, then, is the British school system, as I see it.
I love this. Also true story, I exclaimed "oh!" out loud at my desk when I opened this and the first thing I saw was Chris Miles. Everytime I rewatch this video I laugh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFDTYvSXJ00
"you've just drawn a picture of a snail." "yeah."
"do you think the title 'renaissance man' sounds a bit wanky?"
The truly galling thing about this is that it is American public education which has things like "Upperclassmen" and "Sophomores", whereas my Scottish comprehensive just had "Primary 1-7" and "Secondary 1-6". Nevertheless, the punch lands.
I love this. Also true story, I exclaimed "oh!" out loud at my desk when I opened this and the first thing I saw was Chris Miles. Everytime I rewatch this video I laugh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFDTYvSXJ00
"you've just drawn a picture of a snail." "yeah."
"do you think the title 'renaissance man' sounds a bit wanky?"
"Fifth years (ages 9-10) are called Fourthy-Fifthies, and are permitted to speak only in math to one another."
Come now, Danny. Any proper Brit would've said "speak only in maths"!
The truly galling thing about this is that it is American public education which has things like "Upperclassmen" and "Sophomores", whereas my Scottish comprehensive just had "Primary 1-7" and "Secondary 1-6". Nevertheless, the punch lands.
The first graders at my son's (American) school are called "chums", which makes me wonder if they're about to be thrown to the sharks in a bucket.