I continue to be amazed by the breadth and depth of your writing, both your books and this Substack which is by far the best I’ve found. You remind me a lot of Sheila Heti, thinking and writing thoughts that would never occur to me but that are delightful and intriguing and a little unsettling.
> “despite [Bear’s] superficial nice-guy pose, is all too happy to reap the benefits.“ Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, the moment Nikki reveals herself as a lover, rather than merely a beloved, Bear’s fragile masculinity recoils and never recovers
i found this point really interesting to read! i think when i watched obsession yesterday my initial impression was also maybe closer to chang's. i guess i felt like bear's repeated attempts to hide what was happening even after nikki entirely covered the front door in duct tape, his attempts to 'try to make this work', his asking the phone number about whether the love was 'actually real', or his attempt to make an adjustment to his wish rather than retract it entirely felt self-serving to me — not only in that he wanted to hide his manipulation from his friends, but also in that there continued to be some part of him that truly enjoyed the attention from his crush. but your point about his masculinity recoiling and never recovering also feels so true to me so now i'm not sure what to think
“She had the kind of walking that made benches become men.” https://www.notebook.bdmcclay.com/p/notes-on-metaphor
I continue to be amazed by the breadth and depth of your writing, both your books and this Substack which is by far the best I’ve found. You remind me a lot of Sheila Heti, thinking and writing thoughts that would never occur to me but that are delightful and intriguing and a little unsettling.
> “despite [Bear’s] superficial nice-guy pose, is all too happy to reap the benefits.“ Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, the moment Nikki reveals herself as a lover, rather than merely a beloved, Bear’s fragile masculinity recoils and never recovers
i found this point really interesting to read! i think when i watched obsession yesterday my initial impression was also maybe closer to chang's. i guess i felt like bear's repeated attempts to hide what was happening even after nikki entirely covered the front door in duct tape, his attempts to 'try to make this work', his asking the phone number about whether the love was 'actually real', or his attempt to make an adjustment to his wish rather than retract it entirely felt self-serving to me — not only in that he wanted to hide his manipulation from his friends, but also in that there continued to be some part of him that truly enjoyed the attention from his crush. but your point about his masculinity recoiling and never recovering also feels so true to me so now i'm not sure what to think