Welcome to classic restaurant, bathroom downstairs, big carpet for downstairs flight of stairs to bathroom! We have it: carpeted stairs down to bathroom, whimsical drawings of lady for ladies’ bathroom, whimsical drawing of very old man, mutton chop beard drawing, for gents’ bathroom. We have drawings for bathrooms, old cash register by entrance, does not work, old menus for wallpaper, bring your grandmother here.
Welcome to classic restaurant! Have you brought your grandmother? She loves us. We are in historic district, formerly sexy district in 1800s, now all-day parking and chocolate stores. We have a big blue door! Do not worry. Bathrooms are downstairs, down big flight of stairs, all carpet, with every photograph all over the walls. We have photographs of every celebrity and most Italians. We have photographs of family of cooks, big view of neighborhood, every map there ever was, reminders of holiday prix-fixe dinners, to look at on trip down Titanic staircase to bathroom. Remind your grandmother to eat oysters here! We have two awnings and we will never stop refilling your water!
All the best brick for walls is born here. Welcome to classic restaurant! We have stairs to our bathrooms. Bathrooms have little mini-doors inside regular doors to bathroom, little swinging doors open frontways and backwards, for real saloon feeling. It’s good to grandmother here. Bring everyone. Bring reminders. We recommend the popular dishes.
Please look at the big piano! One man will play it, twenty minutes only, very old, waiters excuse me to pull down big screens over windows at sunset for glare, then old man is gone, no music again. Only empty piano, for looking at, old man reminder. We have hot oysters, no writing down for orders, banquet room upstairs for extra carpet, bathroom carpet downstairs. We have coasters and paper doilies for the sweatiest cups of ice water alive. Are you tall? Don’t be, please, for old bathroom height. We have pasta, big pasta, three kinds steak, old pork chop, panna cotta, garden salad. We have soufflé to tell you about right away, for ordering right away, for tableside cart. We have big cups of decaf for everyone, after food, for tan slacks and navy blazers, very old men in corner table. We have Bananas Foster. We have woman with silver table scraper, to dust you after eating, to hold your crumbs. We have transferred your receipts from the bar, empty piano next to.
Welcome here to downstairs bathroom carpet restaurant for special occasions! Is it Mother’s Day? We are here for special occasions. Please bring your quiet balloons, no children. We have electric candles in plastic cups for you and your safety. Would you like one roll from a basket handed to you by tongs? It is for tearing apart with the coldest butter. Would you like grind of pepper from big mill, three feet tall, Happy Mother’s Day to you.
Welcome to downstairs bathroom restaurant! We rolled your napkin into a fan while you were in the bathroom so everyone can know you were in the bathroom. Sundays are for pancakes here. Would you like to know more history about downstairs bathroom restaurant, big staircase with carpet design? We have it behind of menu. Turn your menu around for history. Turn your history around for menu. Are you a party of ten for celebration or two couples, one young one parents? We have one soup, lobster bisque, maybe there is a tank behind piano. There are big green mints on hostess stand, and also as surprise with the check. We have salmon, I forgot to tell you. Remind your grandmother when she returns from bathroom downstairs. Desserts are very tall for her.
thank you, i very much *would* like one roll from a basket handed to me by tongs, and quick question, is there salt in an elegant little hexagonal glass obelisk wearing a silver cap?
I think this is the restaurant where I always eat with my parents.