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Welcome to coffee shop, bathroom occupied! Everyone is looking at you for no reason. Try door real quick.
Door is busy! Door is no for sliding.
Try pulling door.
Door is no for pulling!
Try next door. Door is busy!
Try sliding.
Door is no for sliding!
Try third door, no markings. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Third door, no markings is for employees only! Wrong room, wrong door! Try asking.
Asking is busy! Everyone here is waiting for bathroom and looking at you. Everything here is the line for the bathroom! Everything is the line and everyone is in it!! Everyone is looking at you, now for reason! Look casual. Think about next door. Think about next closest bathroom! Think about time. Think about coffee! Think about pulling. Think about waiting! Think about everybody. Everybody is thinking about you, because you tried the door in front of everyone.
Everyone inside the coffee shop is waiting to go further inside the coffee shop! Try waiting. There is coffee here!
Think of all the rooms there are. Think of all the rooms that are not a bathroom for you. Where else is a bathroom? Everything is so far away. Welcome to coffee shop bathroom occupied! So many rooms are trouble for you!
Welcome To Coffee Shop, Bathroom Occupied!
I mean, George Saunders WISHES he could capture this level of unease. OCCUPIED!!
Further up and further into the coffee shop