Me, turning over a number of tarot cards in succession, in an attempt to impress you: I pull the Fool card. “Ah, this one is interesting. It means that you’re stupid. A fool. Yes? A stupid idiot, who doesn’t know what Tarot is. You’re being stupid right now, you’re making stupid decisions, you’re wrong and you’re all backwards from mix-up, you’re about to fall over, your brain is as bad as a small dog.”
I pull the Hierophant, followed by Six of Cups, followed by the Chariot, upside down: "You will schedule an ill-advised dinner date with your old college professor crush who is passing through town, drink an entire bottle of Zin with notes of lychee and band-aid, and crash your Citybike into a trashbin while mentally replaying your super-awkward goodbye hug where your boobs pressed WAY too hard against his sweater vest."
"Your blood is slow, like cold medicine, and brings wrong, old information to your brain, so you learn wrong all of the time, with your thick, dumb blood covered in the worst plans.”
I want to scream this on Twitter and at conservative uncles all the time now.
I see Grace is giving you some readings with her new deck! Alternatively, you have stolen her deck and are using it to abuse yourself. Wipe the cards down with Lysol and return them.
I pull the Hierophant, followed by Six of Cups, followed by the Chariot, upside down: "You will schedule an ill-advised dinner date with your old college professor crush who is passing through town, drink an entire bottle of Zin with notes of lychee and band-aid, and crash your Citybike into a trashbin while mentally replaying your super-awkward goodbye hug where your boobs pressed WAY too hard against his sweater vest."
"Your blood is slow, like cold medicine, and brings wrong, old information to your brain, so you learn wrong all of the time, with your thick, dumb blood covered in the worst plans.”
I want to scream this on Twitter and at conservative uncles all the time now.
I see Grace is giving you some readings with her new deck! Alternatively, you have stolen her deck and are using it to abuse yourself. Wipe the cards down with Lysol and return them.
I fought the temptation to do a "tag urself" but obviously I sexually self-identify as "alchemy is real, but not for you."
Man, remind me to never get a reading from you.