It’s occurred to me that since so many writers and outlets use a paid subscriber model these days, the average reader doesn’t have quite as much to spend on subscriptions as they might have a few years ago. I’d like this newsletter to be relatively affordable so I’ve decided to reduce the cost of an annual Chatner subscription from $65.00 to $30.00.
That’s about the cost of a new hardcover book a year, which seems like a pretty good deal to me. I do hope this encourages more of you to become paid subscribers, as I enjoy both the making and spending of money, but even if it doesn’t, I think it’s a good outcome for pre-existing subscribers, too.
Well, that’s all the housekeeping from me.
I wonder if you’re familiar with the livery companies of London? There are 114 of them. Many of them originated as medieval guilds and trade associations, although quite a few of them only exist as charities nowadays, and they have special powers like being able to vote for the Lord Mayor of London (Dick Whittington for 610 years running). Historically they were also granted the Freedom of the City of London, which gave the right to drive sheep over Southwark Bridge, although for obvious reasons that right is less important now than it used to be.
The livery companies are all styled as the “Worshipful Company of ____” and governed by either a Prime Warden, an Upper Bailiff, or a Master. All but two of them have a formal motto, and most of the mottos are quite good. A few are even what I would call terrific.
I’ve ranked them here, for your convenience.
I believe that the Top Ten explain themselves. “Wool Is Our Hope” is as good as any slogan ever coined, I think, although I’m sure my preference there is at least partly explained by 30 Rock’s excellent Wool Song.
I’m fond of rhyming (“By Hammer and Hand…”), of winsome little claims to universal good (“Marketing benefits everyone!”) and Biblical references. I’m enchanted by the Spectacle Makers. I don’t understand the Painter-Stainers’ motto in the least, nor what love and obedience have to do with painting, but it compelled me nevertheless.
Worshipful Company of Woolmen
Motto: “Wool Is Our Hope”
Worshipful Company of Pattenmakers
Motto: “Women Receive Support From Us”
Worshipful Company of Spectacle Makers
Motto: “A Blessing to the Aged”
Worshipful Company of Painter-Stainers
Motto: “Love Can Compel Obedience”
Worshipful Company of Needlemakers
Motto: “They Sewed Fig Leaves Together And Made Themselves Aprons”
Worshipful Company of Marketors
Motto: “Marketing Benefits Everyone”
Worshipful Company of Blacksmiths
Motto: “By Hammer and Hand All Arts Do Stand”
Worshipful Company of Launderers
Motto: “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”
Worshipful Company of Butchers
Motto: “Thou Hast Put All Things Under Man’s Feet, All Sheep and Oxen”
Worshipful Company of Paviors
Motto: “God Can Raise To Abraham Children of Stone”
The Top Twenty are very nearly as good. The Glovers! I don’t understand the Cooks, unless it’s a nod to the fact that people who work in kitchens seem always to be cutting and burning themselves. Any joking or subversive reference to one’s own work will always charm: The Founders claiming God as the only Founder, or the Clockmakers referencing time. I don’t understand the Poulterers’ but am once again compelled! What oath?
Worshipful Company of Glovers
Motto: “True Hands and Warm Hearts”
Worshipful Company of Distillers
Motto: “Drop as Rain, Distil as Dew”
Worshipful Company of Cooks
Motto: “Wounded Not Conquered”
Worshipful Company of Coachmakers and Coach Harness Makers
Motto: “The Sun Rises After The Clouds”
Worshipful Company of Clockmakers
Motto: “Time is the Commander of All Things”
Worshipful Company of Fuellers
Motto: “Our Strength is in coal”
Worshipful Company of Founders
Motto: “God, The Only Founder”
Worshipful Company of Stationers and Newspaper Makers
Motto: “The Word of the Lord Endures Forever”
Worshipful Company of Gunmakers
Motto: “May guns be proved for honest citizens”
Worshipful Company of Poulterers
Motto: “Remember Your Oath”
In the Top Thirty we begin to see some merely “good, not great” entries. But I am heartened by the Surveyors, cheered by the Basketmakers. I’m delighted that the Bowyers (bowmakers) just list a series of battles from the Hundred Years’ War like a resume, and that the Saddlers tell me to sit.
Worshipful Company of Actuaries
Motto: “Experience Foretells”
Worshipful Company of Bowyers
Motto: “Crécy, Poitiers, Agincourt”
Worshipful Company of Chartered Surveyors
Motto: “Method from the Very Beginning”
Worshipful Company of Solicitors
Motto: ““Freedom’s foundation is the Law”
Worshipful Company of Weavers
Motto: “Weave Truth With Trust”
Worshipful Company of Salters
Motto: “Salt seasons everything”
Worshipful Company of Saddlers
Motto: “Hold Fast, Sit Sure; Our Trust Is In God”
Worshipful Company of Water Conservators
Motto: “No life without water”
Worshipful Company of Basketmakers
Motto: “Let Us Love One Another”
Worshipful Company of Vintners
Motto: “Wine Cheers the Mind”
As we approach the middle of the pack they remain quite good. I really have no criticisms, except for the fact that there’s nothing as good as “Our Hope Is In Wool”.
Worshipful Company of Tobacco Pipe Makers and Tobacco Blenders
Motto: “May the Earth bring forth”
Worshipful Company of Tallow Chandlers
Motto: “Behold the Lamb of God, Who Takes Away the Sins of the World”
Worshipful Company of Scientific Instrument Makers
Motto: “Science Languishes Without Us”
Worshipful Company of Tin Plate Workers
Motto: “May You Be United In Love”
Worshipful Company of Scriveners
Motto: “Write, Ye Learned Ones”
Worshipful Company of Shipwrights
Motto: “Within the Ark Safe forever”
Worshipful Company of Hackney Carriage Drivers
Motto: “With Knowledge We Serve”
Worshipful Company of Tax Advisors
Motto: “Truth, Charity, Fellowship”
Worshipful Company of Furniture Makers
Motto: “Straight and strong”
Worshipful Company of Firefighters
Motto: ““Fighting Fire, We Trust in God”
I’d give higher marks to the Farmers, for example, if their motto was “We Give You Your Daily Bread.” It’s reasonable, too, because they’ve only been established since the 1950s, so it’s not like they’ve been carrying this slogan around since the Middle Ages. And I do think “Upholders…Uphold the Good” is very solid! But no better than solid.
Worshipful Company of Upholders
Motto: “Uphold the Good”
Worshipful Company of Builders’ Merchants
Motto: “The Fortune of the House Continues”
Worshipful Company of Chartered Architects
Motto: “Firmness, Commodity, Delight”
Worshipful Company of Environmental Cleaners
Motto: “To Clean Is To Preserve”
Worshipful Company of Engineers
Motto: “Use Skills to the Best of One’s Abilities”
Worshipful Company of Cordwainers
Motto: “Leather and Art”
Worshipful Company of Gardeners
Motto: “In The Sweat Of Thy Brows Shalt Thou Eate Thy Bread”
Worshipful Company of Farmers
Motto: “Give Us Our Daily Bread”
Worshipful Company of Framework Knitters
Motto: “Speed, Strength and Truth United”
Worshipful Company of Glass Sellers
Motto: “Discord Weakens”
Here we begin to see a lot of phoned-in mottos, that simply list a virtue and call it a day. Truth is good. Art is here. Fairness, don’t forget about it. All right!
Worshipful Company of Wax Chandlers
Motto: “Truth is the Light”
Worshipful Company of Chartered Accountants
Motto: “True and Fair”
Worshipful Company of Arts Scholars
Motto: “We foster Arts (with)in the city”
Worshipful Company of Musicians
Motto: “Preserve Harmony”
Worshipful Company of Joiners and Ceilers
Motto: “Join Loyalty With Liberty”
Worshipful Company of Information Technologists
Motto: “Swiftly”
Worshipful Company of Security Professionals
Motto: “In Harmony Small Things Grow”
Worshipful Company of Armourers and Brasiers
Motto: “We Are One”
Worshipful Company of Air Pilots
Motto: “Our Way Is By The Heavens”
Worshipful Company of Fletchers
Motto: “True and Sure”
None of these are bad, but we really do begin to drop into virtue-listing in a way that feels unmemorable. “Protectors of All” for Insurers is cute, though. In retrospect that should be higher on the list.
Worshipful Company of Feltmakers
Motto: “An Ornament and a Safeguard”
Worshipful Company of Arbitrators
Motto: “Law and Custom”
Worshipful Company of Master Mariners
Motto: “Loyalty and Service”
Worshipful Company of Broderers
Motto: “All From Above”
Worshipful Company of Carmen
Motto: “Skilfully, Swiftly, Surely”
Worshipful Company of Constructors
Motto: “Build with Honour”
Worshipful Company of Coopers
Motto: “Love as Brethren”
Worshipful Company of Chartered Secretaries
Motto: “Service with Integrity”
Worshipful Company of Educators
Motto: “Through Learning to Light”
Worshipful Company of Fan Makers
Motto: “Arts and Trade United”
Worshipful Company of Farriers
Motto: “By Strength and by Virtue”
Worshipful Company of Fruiterers
Motto: “God Gives the Increase”
Worshipful Company of World Traders
Motto: “Commerce and honest friendship with all”
Worshipful Company of Apothecaries
Motto: “I Am Called a Bringer of Help Throughout the World”
Worshipful Company of Makers of Playing Cards
Motto: “With an Upright Heart All Are Exalted”
Worshipful Company of International Bankers
Motto: “Nation to Nation”
Worshipful Company of Insurers
Motto: “Protector of All”
Worshipful Company of Innholders
Motto: “Hence Hope Shines Forth”
Worshipful Company of Haberdashers
Motto: “Serve and Obey”
Worshipful Company of Goldsmiths
Motto: “Justice is Queen of Virtues”
Worshipful Company of Gold and Silver Wyre Drawers
Motto: “Love Draws Friendship”
Worshipful Company of Cutlers
Motto: “To Succeed Through Good Faith”
From here on out it’s just God stuff. Fine, I guess!
Worshipful Company of Glaziers
Motto: “O God, Give Us Your Light”
Worshipful Company of Plaisterers
Motto: “Let Brotherly Love Continue”
Worshipful Company of Plumbers
Motto: “Justice and Peace”
Worshipful Company of Lightmongers
Motto: “The Lord is my light and my help”
Worshipful Company of Grocers
Motto: “God Grant Grace”
Worshipful Company of Ironmongers
Motto: “God Is Our Strength”
Worshipful Company of Leathersellers
Motto: “Honour and Glory to God Alone”
Worshipful Company of Masons
Motto: “God is our Guide”
Worshipful Company of Mercers
Motto: “Honour to God”
Worshipful Company of Pewterers
Motto: “In God is all my Trust”
Worshipful Company of Turners
Motto: “By Faith I Obtain”
Worshipful Company of Tylers and Bricklayers
Motto: “In God Is All Our Trust”
Worshipful Company of Wheelwrights
Motto: “God Grant Unity”
Worshipful Company of Girdlers
Motto: “Give Thanks To God”
Worshipful Company of Fishmongers
Motto: “All Worship Be To God Only”
Worshipful Company of Skinners
Motto: “To God Only Be All Glory”
Worshipful Company of Drapers
Motto: “Unto God Only Be Honour and Glory”
Worshipful Company of Curriers
Motto: “Our Hope is in God”
Worshipful Company of Dyers
Motto: “Give Glory to God”
Worshipful Company of Clothworkers
Motto: “My Trust Is in God Alone”
Worshipful Company of Brewers
Motto: “In God Is All Our Trust”
Worshipful Company of Carpenters
Motto: “Honour God”
Worshipful Company of Bakers
Motto: “Praise God For All”
Worshipful Company of Barbers
Motto: “From the Foreknowledge of God”
The bottom of the barrel. Management consultants, you have no business being here. No motto?? And listing “Property, People and Liberty” in that order is contemptible. Get rid of these four!
Worshipful Company of Management Consultants
Motto: “Change through Wisdom”
Worshipful Company of Horners
Motto: No motto
Worshipful Company of Loriners
Motto: No motto
Worshipful Company of Security Professionals
Motto: “Property, People and Liberty”
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Apologies if you already know this but the Hackney Carriages one is in fact a pun - a Hackney carriage is a taxi cab and the qualification required to drive one (memorising the map of London’s streets, which takes about 5 years on average) is referred to as “The Knowledge”. Whether that should make it rank higher or lower, I can’t say.
“wounded not conquered” it me tho