13 Comments
Nov 27, 2023Liked by Daniel Lavery

Thank you thank you thank you for the sublime phrase "Apologize like you’re kicking someone to death" which will henceforth rattle around in my skull for eternity

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BRILLIANT, DANNY!!!!

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author

E. Jean you are going to give me a big head!!!!!

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As long as you have a big head, Danny, and I have big hair, the world is OK!!

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Nov 28, 2023Liked by Daniel Lavery

My favorite version of 10 is when you just start to call everyone they, except they/thems who you call "she-he-this is so hard for people my age"

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Nov 27, 2023Liked by Daniel Lavery

Oof. This 100% would’ve been my mother if I’d transitioned while she was still alive. Fortunately, I didn’t realize I was trans until after she’d gone, so was spared the ordeal. Why do people think that this is acceptable behavior anyway? Is their empathy broken?

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I have a trans daughter. Mostly you aren't talking about me. I can tell because:

1. We had to bug her to choose a new name, since using her male name with female pronouns was extra difficult. Eventually she did, and it helped.

2. I got a nerf gun and told her that any time we used the wrong pronoun, she was to shoot us with it. So we would laugh and say we're sorry. She enjoyed the hell out of shooting me.

AND, I do want to recognize that it was quite a shock to learn that after spending 19 years believing I had a son, I didn't. I spent roughly two weeks in misery, which I tried hard to hide from her. I blamed myself for the suffering I saw now and in her future. I mourned the loss of a person I (thought I) knew, even while anticipating the value of getting to know this new (and not wholly unrelated) person. It was rough.

I love her and she's awesome. It was worth the work, and it certainly was work, for me. Not as much as for her, but I doubt if anyone hands out awards.

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Do what my mom did. I came out to her in my mid 30's and she just had a name in mind ready to go.

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Well, I had a name in mind, but she didn't like it, and chose something else. Eventually.

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Nov 29, 2023Liked by Daniel Lavery

"It’s important to do this yourself, because then you get to set the tone for corrections, and in so doing make anyone who might have corrected you look like a demented madman. 'Is a simple mistake really cause for such violence?'" God, man, you really never miss.

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Nov 27, 2023Liked by Daniel Lavery

As much as I don't enjoy being a spiteful person, there is a spiteful joy in this type of column; vengeance through truth, perhaps. I'm not sure if this is an American Thanksgiving tradition, but it sure fits, don't it?

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Nov 28, 2023Liked by Daniel Lavery

Laughed until I cried -- and realized I've been gaslit by my family, too, lmao. Thank you so much for this masterpiece!!!

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start doing the gad saad "possibly transgender [....] therein lies the problem" tweet within earshot of the child, as if you are undergoing a bout of vertigo (come to think of it--make a jimmy stewart face)

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