10 Comments
User's avatar
Anna's avatar

Last time I played video games with my baby brother, it was Golden Eye, so mostly wandering completely lost down corridors, and in order to "make it fair" once he found me, he had to take my controls and turn my character around so it was facing him, choose a weapon for me, aim it, give me back my controls, and then give me a couple seconds before inevitably killing me. He only played with me when all his friends were busy.

Expand full comment
Addy's avatar

oh my god, i am nerd-slain. killed softly, my whole life told up in his words. i am the silent loved one in the background of this piece, pleading, sighing, boss-killing.

if you find this message, future archive-reader, please -- the answer to #37 is yes. hyrule field is in kakariko village now. fishing is free. you will never die, skeletons will never rise with the moon, and there is no water temple. masks are now t-shirts and shit. errands and cartoon grass as far as the eye can see.

the answer is animal crossing.

Expand full comment
Nat's avatar

I just want a game that has 2d graphics and doesn’t make me use the WASD keys. Back in my day we used the cursor keys and space bar like men.

Expand full comment
PollyQ's avatar

A) V. v. funny, thank you!

B) Yeah, this is why I neve played video games in the first place

Expand full comment
J. Woods's avatar

Same.

Expand full comment
Vingt-quatre van Damme's avatar

Along similar lines, I can finally catch up on my Steam list-of-shame!

Expand full comment
Vingt-quatre van Damme's avatar

I'd completely forgotten I even had Portal 2!

Expand full comment
Nicole 's avatar

Pretty sure 37 is basically animal crossing ;)

Expand full comment
Lex's avatar

Lemmings is always great to come back to (not the mobile app versions though, god not those)

Expand full comment
Alex (they/them)'s avatar

Ah, the struggle, she is too real for me!

Going through the same on my Steam library right now.

Expand full comment