I’ve been getting occasional updates on celebrity estate sales and silver auctions from 1st Dibs ever since I wrote about the Gore Vidal walnut desk this fall. While I didn’t sign up for these updates, they are without question the highest-quality spam messages I’ve ever received in my life. Having recently decided to stop fighting spam messages, resigning myself to having to screen and delete multiple calls, texts, and emails every day from various ghosts, my only request now is that they all rise to the same caliber as this one:
It should have occurred to me long before now that there was bespoke spam for the very fancy person, and yet. Now I am fascinated.
Meanwhile, I recently bid on Anna Nicole Smith's golf clubs.
I have similar feelings on the rare occasions when FB's "targeted" ads actually score with something that I want to see. The vast majority of their ads are things I roll my eyes at, or sometimes find actively obnoxious... But once in a while they show me something like a new liqueur for my mixology habit. (That's the example that springs to mind because that was just a few days ago. Ume plum liqueur. It's so... purple.)
I am coming for tea, Danny! Immediately!
Well, last year was Ann Miller's estate auction, and I bought ten of her cocktail rings. (They are very slightly too small for me but most have elastic bands, so they're uncomfortable but wearable.) Now I'm on a similar but less grand list to the First Dibs one. They're having a Grand Miscellany sale, and I was worried about someone, and I thought "wouldn't it be fun to just BID on Anna Nicole Smith's golf clubs and feel vibrant and alive" and so far no one else wants them. I don't know how to play golf and she was taller than me. These will exist in the apartment until I am murdered with one.