223 Comments
Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

hi, gang - grace here - just wanted to say thanks for the good wishes; I'm hanging in and Danny is a really skilled and loving caregiver. lucky to have such a husband - and grateful to all of you for saying hi xoxo

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

I'm rewatching Salt Fat Acid Heat because Samin Nosrat's wamth and palpable joy is so comforting right now and it's distracting me from worrying the immune compromised people in my life.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

I feel like we need to accept that it's time to rewatch American Vandal as a group

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I need...emotional upliftment? I had a terrible 2019, and was stuck indoors much of winter 2019-2020, and now with the added push for social distancing, I feel a bit stir crazy. A lot of my social and emotional needs have not been met in the last year or so and I feel very volatile and sad and like nothing will get better.

On a brighter note, I am able to work 100% from home and I have everything that I need materially. I'm grateful for this, just wish I had others to share it with.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

My last trip out into the word before social isolation was to go pick up your new book at our local bookstore! Something That May Shock & Discredit You is keeping me company today. :)

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

I had to make the hard decision to cancel an event I'd spent a year planning. It was going to be really rad and queer and a lot of people were excited for it. I know we made the right choice, but we're still mourning it.

Otherwise, I'm finding myself surprisingly well-equipped to deal with this, having been isolated and holed up a lot these past few years. I'm organizing a remote skillshare with my friends and making opportunities for creative types to share their work and collaborate. If anyone wants to hang out and make things, I can send you a link to our Discord server.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Both my partner and I have been fired by our jobs in light of everything happening and we’re kind of worried about money to be frank. Planning on spending the day applying for unemployment, watching Miss Fisher’s Murder mysteries and trying to stay positive about not having any income at the moment

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I'm rewatching Gilmore Girls and mapping all the characters on an X/Y quadrant of narcissistic personality disorder and early 2000s charm. Any other old TV suggestions?

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Hey hey! First of all, do you and Grace need anything? Hope you're both holding up well. 💜

I was Very Sad on Saturday when my library announced we were closing to the public. Not because I don't agree that was a wise and important choice! More because kids stuck at home, and their caregivers, maybe need my Children's Room more than ever right now. We also have a lot of families who rely on the library for internet and printer access (so streaming something fun probably isn't a way they're able to cope with being homebound), and some who use it as a safe place to shelter themselves and their children during the day because they are homeless. So far we're only closing for two weeks, and I'm really hoping the "essential staff" who are still clocking in will be able to use that time to identify safe ways we can maybe open our doors back up and provide some support to folks soon.

But! A thing that is making me feel better is that a mom I regularly babysit for and a friend of hers have asked me to sit for their kids over the next couple weeks. They're both single moms in small apartments who need to work from home for the foreseeable future, so they had been feeling panicky about how they were going to do their parenting and professional work at the same time every day now that schools have closed. My sitting for both of their children means that they can split my regular rate for two kids, which makes that childcare affordable to them when it wouldn't be otherwise. So I'm feeling really grateful both that I can offer them some caregiving backup and that I'll still...kind of get to do my job every day? Still keeping kids safe and engaging their imaginations, just in a different way.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

If anyone is looking for yoga AND a way to help someone in need, Emily Joy (who started #ChurchToo) is teaching yoga via Instagram stories this week. Emily and her partner (and heir dog!) lost their home in Nashville during the tornado, so while her yoga class will be free, she'll have her venmo listed. Here's her instagram for more: https://www.instagram.com/emilyjoypoetry/

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

If anyone wants/ needs a tarot reading via video chat, about the current *gestures grimly* or about whatever, I would love to do that for folks. I have the Scary Cough and a job that can't be worked remotely so I am free... constantly.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

I'm going to just start randomly calling friends on the phone because why not.

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I hope grace feels better asap! Let me know if you need anything. We’re okay. I’ve got a gross stomach bug & my kids’ school is closed for the foreseeable future so I am deeply reliant on Disney+ rn and throwing the notion of getting work done out the window. my husband is newly a staff union rep for the hospital he used to work at here in Philly, which is chaotic at the moment lol. it’s a bit of a shit show but we’re getting through. Thanks for doing this. <3

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Oh no! My best to you and Grace for her recovery. I also am confined to my home, albeit as a preventative measure, following an unluckily timed sojourn to Europe. No regrets - I caught up with a dear friend I haven’t seen in years, and was most pleased to find that she makes an excellent travel companion in addition to an excellent friend - but I had a rather stressful day on Thursday, when I decided that it was Time To Go, and then ended up stuck on a train for five hours (three! hours! longer! than the journey should have taken), followed by several hours on hold with my airline to rearrange my return flights.

I’m relaxing by watching Nigella Lawson on DVD, whose benignly joyful energy is just what I need right now. Currently she’s making a cauliflower and chickpea salad with harissa, which I’m sure I’ll be making at some point once I’m allowed to go to the shops again 😂

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Hopefully Grace does not have other underlying conditions and she will get better quickly. Thanks for the shout out to everyone and the link to the SWC below. I'm thinking its time to reread my favorite novel "100 Years of Solitude" for the 37th time...magical realism may be apropos right now.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Danny, you're a delight, and I hope Grace recovers soon!

My spouse and I just moved 3000 miles for an airline job, a decision which, in light of current events, is looking...questionable.

BUT I'm here to share the one thing that's lightening my day today, which is this nytimes rainbow sprinkle cake recipe: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1018364-rainbow-sprinkle-cake?em_pos=medium&emc=edit_ck_20170326&nl=cooking&nlid=75870329&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI88mNsKCf6AIVyiCtBh3sqwFbEAAYASAAEgJdq_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

(Here's an unaltered non-paywall version: http://diana212m.blogspot.com/2018/03/yay-its-wednesday-cake.html)

It's been popping up in my newsfeed for weeks now, and that pic got the better of my isolation brain. As soon as I unpack our baking stuff, it's fancy funfetti time!!! Advertising works people.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Someone shared this NYC based info/aid list if anyone wants: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18WYGoVlJuXYc3QFN1RABnARZlwDG3aLQsnNokl1KhZQ/preview

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

just did yoga (out of boredom), tired of wrestling with fucking blackboard, and I need to work on writing a grant but I JUST DON'T WANT TO. That about sums things up.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Danny, you're a continual joy in my inbox, just, in general and so you know.

In what might be the worst timing on Earth, I got fired about a week ago. If anyone has anything to spare, my Venmo is @the28dogs. I'm hoping to get set up on unemployment soon, but this is a very scary time to be without health insurance.

In much lighter news, I started Godless yesterday and am obsessed - Jeff Daniels as a traumatized, bloodthirsty Mormon! Lady Mary! Merritt Wever wearing men's clothes and kissing girls!

I'm also into season 3 of my first-ever watch of The Sopranos, if anyone wants to chat about the absolute perfection of Edie Falco as Carmella.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Food banks in the bay area (and I would think nationally, though I don't have data) are in dire need of volunteers who are not symptomatic to help prep and deliver groceries.

As more and more people are homebound, those who typically go to food pantries or public schools for their meals have a whole new obstacle to contend with.

https://www.sfmfoodbank.org/volunteer/

https://www.accfb.org/volunteering/

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

I'm a final-year college student in the UK- we've had no information from the university administration about how we'll be examined or whether next term were happen, people are being randomly evicted, it's chaos. If anyone knows of ways to help people in isolation for those who don't have a lot of money to donate/ways to support those who are quarantined alone, it would be great to be able to do something. Much love to you and Grace; your writing has been a light for me.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Thanks, Danny. Just want to say that you’re a light in the world and I’m thankful for you. 💝 Hanging in there with the kids, going on a walk in a few minutes.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

I don't have a... Great relationship with my parents and was working to get out of this house when, uh, all this happened. So.

Upshot is I'm always anxious anyway so it's finally my time to shine, baby.

What else. I finished reading WicDiv. Anyone watch Joe Pera Talks With You? I think it might be one of my favorite shows now.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Hi Danny! I wish Grace a fast recovery and would love to hear what tv you are watching.

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Mar 16, 2020Liked by Daniel Lavery

Three parts anxiety--one for the coming medical capacity crisis, one for lack of guidance from my job about what we're going to do (I'm a public defender, so just waiting for New York courts to get their act together), and one part guilt about going outside a few times in the past two days.

I'm not generally an anxious person. This is hard!

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I know it's a very dry thing but I have a pro Zoom account through work and can set up virtual recurring film clubs, book clubs, stitch n bitch, etc if anyone has suggestions, ideas, or requests. Most likely going to set up movie watching and Friday night shabbat at the very least.

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What are we all cooking while stuck at home? I am planning on these sour cream biscuits (https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/sour-cream-and-onion-biscuits) and a lot of beans simmered very gently for a long time, and my partner is currently making granola.

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It is a wonderful book, but I made the mistake of re-reading Station Eleven and it made me super panicky. Last time I read it we weren't gearing up for the end of days D :

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please not Sick with a capital S

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Work was closed all last week for a pre-scheduled break, not for Current Events reasons, and only on Sunday evening did they finally send word that we were all still coming back in today. And yet it only took until lunch for them to start surveying how good everyone's home internet is!

I now declare an Animal Crossing subthread. In 4 days I'm naming my island 'Found', I think!

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Get well soon, Grace! You two are a national treasure.

I'm watching scary movies to validate my feelings. "American Beauty" is a great argument against heterosexuality. Confinement to quarters means I don't have to worry about my gender presentation -- no more ironing shirts!

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I am just, really not doing well today? nightmares or whatever all last night and then my pup was too excited waking me up this morning and scratched my face. all of everything is making my anxiety/depression flare and it's all so bad and scary! and also apparently work is still a thing (very grateful to still be employed, but find it very hard to focus on work!).

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Best wishes for Grace! Drink lots of water!

I have The Symptoms as well and and don't qualify for testing, so I'm doing a quarantine lite: working from home, watching The Americans, making sourdough.

Not a tankie until it comes to Keri Russell, then I am 100% a tankie.

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Can I just say this kind of feels like the Toast comment boards again, but even better?

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I'm in the eye of the hurricane

I've been bedbound since Thanksgiving-ish, surgery was delayed since I did manage to get pregnant JUST before injury.... finally scheduled for this week and they havent canceled me yet. (All non-emergent surgeries canceled starting next week)

Pregnant and surgery was bad enough, now pandemic and a partner who had to go on influenza prophylaxis due to exposure at work and today has a patient getting Covid-tested...

I freaked out yesterday and today just feels like the calm before the storm.

I could really use some pumped-up strengthening songs for before surgery?

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I've been doing a social media fast for Lent and yesterday I panicked and thought BUT HOW ARE GRACE AND DANNY? Thankful for this thread, and to know how you two are. My thoughts and heart are with you in this flu-era. My husband and I are both self-isolated with dry coughs and me with the other common symptom of the pandemic era: long-form, panicked weeping. One thing that's getting me through is imagining the massive bonfire I'm going to have when this is all over of every post-apocalyptic pandemic media I've consumed leading up to this moment which is maybe everything I've ever consumed. Sorry dystopian YA lit, it's over.

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Does anyone know of any financial resources for substitute teachers who are going to be out of work for the next few months? We’re non union so we don’t get anything for all this time we can’t work and idk what to do about my bills/loans/groceries. I just know I have to stay in because of my asthma so I can’t even really look for another job. If anyone can send things my way I’d really appreciate it!

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I've found ploughing my anxious energy into mutual aid efforts has made things feel a bit more tolerable. Sort of. For UK people, there's a list of mutual aid groups at https://covidmutualaid.org/ and good guidance from QueerCare at https://queercare.network/.

Sending love and solidarity all round x

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I had ankle surgery last monday, so I was expected to be sitting around the house for the next month, but dang, certainly not in these circumstances. So grateful for my partners being willing to come by and get things off of high shelves for me. Been doing a lot of knitting, and trying to organize a little mutual aid network locally (in Pittsburgh)

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Any suggestions on short things to read/watch? My day (and now just all the time job) involves the *gestures around* so I’m having trouble focusing for long but my brain needs a break.

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I got a bunch of supplies (*just one thing of soap and no loo roll) this weekend, planning to self-isolate for two weeks, and then started with a fever Sunday night. My boomer parents, who I was with on Sunday, WENT INTO WORK TODAY. Dad’s only just gone home now, at lunch. I’m so angry with them and myself and also fairly frightened!

I also forgot to get milk and now can’t get any. That’s a whinge more than a worry.

Has anyone else got re-addicted to a silly phone game? Angry Birds 2 is mine rn.

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I finally bit the bullet and ordered the overpriced, but convenient (as you only need like a few vegetables I already have on hand) Cassoulet kit from D'artangan. I figured i might as well self-quarantine in style.

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I'd like to make some donations to aid funds, particularly for service workers who have lost jobs/shifts--does anyone know if/where these have been set up?

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A friend is isolating due to probable Covid; he can’t get a test. It seems mild, he’s young and healthy, we’re praying for the best. When I asked how I could help him, he requested a list of favorite Toast links, because he wasn’t very online when the Toast was and didn’t know where to start. He’s probably spending quality time with Two Monks today.

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I'm self-employed. A writer. Mostly on Facebook, really. In this weird little spiritual niche where virtually ALL of my income is donation based, sort of like Patreon except my patrons directly give instead of through a platform. Anyway... It's been intense. Because I'm also trying to buy my house for $4000 and started a fundraiser for it *just* before shit hit the fan. I'm halfway there, but so far, the county organization I'm buying the house from is not budging on wanting to close by the end of this month, even though there's a global pandemic going on.

I'm a hermit, though, so really, this is just how my life always is. Stay at home. Social distancing is my way of life. By design. I post on Facebook all day long, do my weekly Service days, and my audience donates what they can when they can. It's not a lot, but usually, it's just enough, just in time.

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Just got home from a full day working in a community health clinic in NYC. Trying to balance my sudden position as a frontline responder in an epidemic with my status as high-risk due to a bunch of chronic medical issues. Very thankful to have work and to be helping in crisis, but living in an excruciating limbo of anxiety waiting for the inevitable shoe-drop of contracting. Having to wake up every morning and expose myself again has filled me with a kind of sustained dread I’ve never experienced before, and I’m struggling to find ways to process it. Anyone with experience with working in high-stress/crisis environments have advice for getting through those days and taking care once they’re over?

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I was sick for almost two weeks — upper respiratory but who knows? I felt so awful the only thing that I was capable of watching was Law &Order. Then I realized I could watch Law & Order UK (hurray!) on the Sundance channel via Amazon Prime. It was great — no thinking, always a guaranteed resolution, and a lot of Jamie Bamber. What more can you ask for when you feel like crap. Now I'm in quarantine again because I have children home from college and we're rewatching all of Community. Oh! And Dirk Gently, the ultimate in comfort-watching..

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Thank you for this. I'm a video game person myself. Anyone else?

I've been playing a lot of Destiny 2, but I might switch over to Stardew Valley for some wholesome farming goodness.

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I’m a low-level full timer at an entertainment venue in my Medium Sized Anonymous City. We should close, bc...public health/community solidarity/what we owe to one another. We have not closed, bc...money. I’m continuing to work (remotely when possible) so that I can survive financially (I am 23 and poor), but I feel so deeply gross about it.

That all being confessed, I am delighted by this open thread. Is anyone else consoling themselves with the earnest theatre teens on the sunshine songs hashtag? Highly recommend.

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Hope you two are well! My high school’s classes will most likely be cancelled for the next 2 months and it’s really uprooted my idea of the future. I do feel more mentally prepared for the revolution now — institutions crumbling seems like something I’ll see more of. Any essential reading for a young and deeply embarrassed transmasc slash communist?

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