Things Kids In My Neighborhood Have Said To Me About My Dogs

Previously: Everything old Italian men and school crossing guards have said to me about my dogs.

[Authoritatively] I can pet these dogs. I see them all the time around the neighborhood. I see these dogs so much, they’re around all the time. I see them everyday practically.

I can pet them, but I have to be gentle, because they’re so little.

Where are your dogs? [I explain they’re upstairs] They’re upstairs? Where are your dogs? They’re upstairs, okay.

I saw your dogs this morning. I saw your dogs this morning and they were walking and I told my parents about them.

Where are your dogs? [Her father, sotto voce: They’re right there. You can see them!] Oh. Your dogs are there?

What are your dog’s names? [Her father, boisterously: You know these dogs’ names!] Are they named Bon-Bon and Gogo? I like Bon-Bon. He’s quiet. Which one is Bon-Bon? Is that him?

Are they nice? Are they going to be nice to me?

My grandma has a dog. My grandma has two dogs, two pugs actually, actually one of them died, the other one’s really old. Are your dogs old? [Unclear if referent is the pug or the grandma] Her name is Peach and she’s old.

He’s trying to jump on me but he’s so little.

Are they — are they mom and dad? Are they brothers? Are they brother and sister? Are they the same?

[Tentatively] I don’t have to pet them if I don’t want to.

Why do you have two of them?

[Busting out of the school line] I know these dogs!

What are their names? Barney?

Gone-Gone?

Gogo and…Gogo and…

[Pointing at the wrong dog] That one’s Gogo and that one’s Bon-Bon.

What are their names again?

We have a dog at home, but I don’t like him as much as I like your dogs.

I’ve seen these dogs before. [To companion] You haven’t met them yet but I see them all the time. I know these dogs.

This is the kind of dog I want. I told my mom this is the kind of dog I want. What kind of dog is it?

Why do they look like that? [Peals of incredulous laughter] They look different. Did they go away?

I have to go to school now. Will your dogs be outside later? Bye!!

I want to pet them but I don’t want them to touch me.

[Equal parts trepidation and excitement] Where are your dogs? I don’t see your dogs.

Are those your dogs? [Stands closer] I don’t want to pet them. [You don’t have to pet them] I like them but I don’t want to pet them and I don’t want them to lick me. [I’ll make sure they don’t] I like them. I like that one.

He’s chewing a stick!! You’re not supposed to do that. But he doesn’t know better.

Can I show my friend your dogs? I told her about your dogs. Can you go get them?

He got bigger! You said he wasn’t going to get any bigger!

I used to see these dogs all the time. Where have they been? [I explain that puppies have to go outside more often than grown dogs] I used to see them all the time but I don’t see them as much anymore.

[Of Gogo] He’s so soft. He’s like a pillow. I love him. [To Bon-Bon] I like him too.

[Accusatory] I saw a dog that was even smaller than your dog yesterday.