The Chatner

Share this post

Things Kids In My Neighborhood Have Said To Me About My Dogs

www.thechatner.com

Things Kids In My Neighborhood Have Said To Me About My Dogs

Daniel Lavery
Feb 15, 2022
86
5
Share this post

Things Kids In My Neighborhood Have Said To Me About My Dogs

www.thechatner.com

Previously: Everything old Italian men and school crossing guards have said to me about my dogs.

[Authoritatively] I can pet these dogs. I see them all the time around the neighborhood. I see these dogs so much, they’re around all the time. I see them everyday practically.

I can pet them, but I have to be gentle, because they’re so little.

Where are your dogs? [I explain they’re upstairs] They’re upstairs? Where are your dogs? They’re upstairs, okay.

I saw your dogs this morning. I saw your dogs this morning and they were walking and I told my parents about them.

Where are your dogs? [Her father, sotto voce: They’re right there. You can see them!] Oh. Your dogs are there?

What are your dog’s names? [Her father, boisterously: You know these dogs’ names!] Are they named Bon-Bon and Gogo? I like Bon-Bon. He’s quiet. Which one is Bon-Bon? Is that him?

Are they nice? Are they going to be nice to me?

My grandma has a dog. My grandma has two dogs, two pugs actually, actually one of them died, the other one’s really old. Are your dogs old? [Unclear if referent is the pug or the grandma] Her name is Peach and she’s old.

He’s trying to jump on me but he’s so little.

Are they — are they mom and dad? Are they brothers? Are they brother and sister? Are they the same?

[Tentatively] I don’t have to pet them if I don’t want to.

Why do you have two of them?

[Busting out of the school line] I know these dogs!

What are their names? Barney?

Gone-Gone?

Gogo and…Gogo and…

[Pointing at the wrong dog] That one’s Gogo and that one’s Bon-Bon.

What are their names again?

We have a dog at home, but I don’t like him as much as I like your dogs.

I’ve seen these dogs before. [To companion] You haven’t met them yet but I see them all the time. I know these dogs.

This is the kind of dog I want. I told my mom this is the kind of dog I want. What kind of dog is it?

Why do they look like that? [Peals of incredulous laughter] They look different. Did they go away?

I have to go to school now. Will your dogs be outside later? Bye!!

I want to pet them but I don’t want them to touch me.

[Equal parts trepidation and excitement] Where are your dogs? I don’t see your dogs.

Are those your dogs? [Stands closer] I don’t want to pet them. [You don’t have to pet them] I like them but I don’t want to pet them and I don’t want them to lick me. [I’ll make sure they don’t] I like them. I like that one.

He’s chewing a stick!! You’re not supposed to do that. But he doesn’t know better.

Can I show my friend your dogs? I told her about your dogs. Can you go get them?

He got bigger! You said he wasn’t going to get any bigger!

I used to see these dogs all the time. Where have they been? [I explain that puppies have to go outside more often than grown dogs] I used to see them all the time but I don’t see them as much anymore.

[Of Gogo] He’s so soft. He’s like a pillow. I love him. [To Bon-Bon] I like him too.

[Accusatory] I saw a dog that was even smaller than your dog yesterday.

5
Share this post

Things Kids In My Neighborhood Have Said To Me About My Dogs

www.thechatner.com
5 Comments
Amal El-Mohtar
Writes Amal Content
Feb 15, 2022Liked by Daniel Lavery

the desire I have to meet these dogs & say things to you about them!!

Expand full comment
ReplyCollapse
VermiciousKnid42
Feb 15, 2022Liked by Daniel Lavery

Are those your dogs? Are they real? Am I real? Do any of us actually exist?

Expand full comment
ReplyCollapse
3 more comments…
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Daniel M. Lavery
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing