Previously in this series:

Things Old Italian Men Have Said To Me About My Dog, Part I and II

Things Crossing Guards Have Said To Me About My Dogs

Dog Gossip I’ve Heard On Walks

Things Kids Have Said To Me About My Dogs

[Unexpectedly running into my friend with her kids on the street ten minutes after we met walking the dogs.]

MY FRIEND: Look who it is!

KID #1 [who saw my dogs ten minutes ago]: Where are your dogs?

KID #2 [ibid]: Yeah, where are your dogs?

CROSSING GUARD [strained, anxious]: No dogs today?

OLDER ITALIAN NEIGHBOR: Where are the boys?

NEIGHBOR: No dogs, huh?

KID #1: I wish your dogs were here.

KID #2: Where are your dogs?

[I explain they’re at home because I’m going to the grocery store.] Where are you guys going?

KID #2 [pointedly does not answer]: Oh. Can you bring them?

KID #1: I wish they were here.

CROSSING GUARD [slightly accusatory]: No dogs this time, hm?

OLDER ITALIAN NEIGHBOR #2: How are the boys? Where are they? You’re not walking them?

OLDER ITALIAN NEIGHBOR #3: They at the vet or something? I never see them lately. Sometimes I see someone else walking them? Do you know about this? [I do know about this, and I promise to bring the boys by on my next walk.] I miss those little guys.

NEIGHBOR: How are Bon and Go? They’re upstairs? All right, they’re upstairs.

CROSSING GUARD: Where are my boys? You better have them next time I see you.

NEIGHBOR: I used to see them all the time, but now…

KID #3: You have those little dogs. Where are they? [I say at home.] Oh. When will they be out again? [I say soon.] Oh.

SECOND CROSSING GUARD: My coworker said she’d be sending the boys my way next time…You gonna have them with you next time?

ELDERLY NEIGHBOR: Where’s the babies? Where’s the babies?

The Chatner

Things My Neighbors Have Said To Me When I…