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Things My Neighbors Have Said To Me When I Leave the House Without My Dogs
Previously in this series:
[Unexpectedly running into my friend with her kids on the street ten minutes after we met walking the dogs.]
MY FRIEND: Look who it is!
KID #1 [who saw my dogs ten minutes ago]: Where are your dogs?
KID #2 [ibid]: Yeah, where are your dogs?
CROSSING GUARD [strained, anxious]: No dogs today?
OLDER ITALIAN NEIGHBOR: Where are the boys?
NEIGHBOR: No dogs, huh?
KID #1: I wish your dogs were here.
KID #2: Where are your dogs?
[I explain they’re at home because I’m going to the grocery store.] Where are you guys going?
KID #2 [pointedly does not answer]: Oh. Can you bring them?
KID #1: I wish they were here.
CROSSING GUARD [slightly accusatory]: No dogs this time, hm?
OLDER ITALIAN NEIGHBOR #2: How are the boys? Where are they? You’re not walking them?
OLDER ITALIAN NEIGHBOR #3: They at the vet or something? I never see them lately. Sometimes I see someone else walking them? Do you know about this? [I do know about this, and I promise to bring the boys by on my next walk.] I miss those little guys.
NEIGHBOR: How are Bon and Go? They’re upstairs? All right, they’re upstairs.
CROSSING GUARD: Where are my boys? You better have them next time I see you.
NEIGHBOR: I used to see them all the time, but now…
KID #3: You have those little dogs. Where are they? [I say at home.] Oh. When will they be out again? [I say soon.] Oh.
SECOND CROSSING GUARD: My coworker said she’d be sending the boys my way next time…You gonna have them with you next time?
ELDERLY NEIGHBOR: Where’s the babies? Where’s the babies?