Maladaptive Internal Responses On Seeing Other People's Dogs When I Don't Have My Dogs With Me

I don’t say these things, obviously.

• Oh, it’s okay – I’m not like them [other dogless people stopping to admire your dog]. I understand what it’s like.

• You can’t see them right now — obviously, haha! — but I get it. I actually have two really cute dogs, so I get it even better than you do, probably. But you definitely do get it! That’s not a criticism — obviously, haha!

• If you could see my dogs, they’re at home right now, but I’m always taking them out with me — it’s actually really unusual to run into me without my dogs, this is kind of a one-in-a-million thing — if you could see my dogs, you would definitely understand that it’s actually sort of a big deal that I said something nice about your dog

• I hope that doesn’t sound conceited!!! It’s just like, it doesn’t really do anyone any good to cultivate false modesty, you know? It’s kind of a waste of everybody’s time, and I really feel like one of the big lesson of my twenties — my twenties are over, and I’m in my thirties now, and if I were to sum up what my thirties have been like so far — because to be clear I’m still in my early thirties, where I’ve learned a lot and am really balanced and have this incredibly relaxing but also invigorating energy, not like before, but also with a sort of ideal balance of maturity and youthfulness, I guess just like the “perfect age,” if there is a perfect age, which obviously there isn’t, I truly believe that every age has something to teach us if only we’re willing to remain open and receptive —

• I mean, you know how sometimes you run into someone much older than you who just really makes you think, “Wow, I hope I’m never like that when I’m in my sixties”? Like I do want to acknowledge the possibility that they’ve had a hard life or they’ve encountered obstacles that I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid so far, and I certainly don’t want to generalize about generations, but sometimes you just meet people who really make being in your sixties (or whatever decade) look awful?

• Anyways, my point was just, I feel like one thing I really learned in my twenties was to stop wasting time doing the whole false modesty or fishing for compliment thing, and now I’m just really comfortable owning my power, if you can be said to own power, which I guess maybe you can? So I’m not going to pretend I don’t have really, unusually cute dogs, even as I’m simultaneously able to accept the fact that all dogs are lovable and super cute in their own way

• I just think I deserve a little more than “Oh, thank you so much!” which you obviously say to everybody

• It’s not that I think I’m a big deal. This actually isn’t about me at all, this is about my dogs

• Like I get that probably a lot of people stopped you today to say something like “What a cute dog!” or “oh my gosh, your dog is so cute,” and I realize that that can get a little repetitive or even wearying, even if you do genuinely appreciate the compliments, but when I say it, it’s really grounded in expertise and bone-deep knowledge of the game —

• No, obviously, sorry, yeah, I have to go too, I actually don’t have time to finish this conversation either, I have something important to get to myself, sorry can’t hear you, I’m already jumping on a call, headphones, sorry, it was so great to meet you, good luck with your dog!!!

• It’s fine that you’re so proud of your dog — who’s a really sweet dog, clearly — I just feel like it’s going to be embarrassing for you later when you see my dogs and realize that your dog (who is such a love!!!) while being in absolutely no way deficient is just also very clearly not on the same level and that it was sort of cringe-y that you didn’t really understand when I said “Yeah, I’ve got two dogs at home” because you didn’t realize what my dogs are like

• I just want you to know that I’ve already accepted your apology because eventually when you do see me out with my dogs, which you definitely will because I’m like, always out with them, I’m kind of a neighborhood fixture at this point, even though I only moved here about two years ago, not even two years actually, but this community (and it is a community), you’ll get it and you’ll feel really self-conscious and you’ll want to apologize but do not even worry about it, you don’t even have to say something, just know that I’ve already forgiven you in advance

• You’re welcome!!! You’re so welcome, oh my gosh, don’t even worry about it, I honestly don’t even remember what you’re talking about, because I meet so many people when I’m out with my dogs that I couldn’t possibly remember everybody who says something to me, even though of course it’s always really special when someone stops us to say something!

• Sorry, headphones, can’t hear you, but thank you so much!!! Thank you so much for your support! Yours is really cute too!