The Chatner

The Chatner

Home
Notes
Books
Archive
Leaderboard
About
A Good Day To Join The Hittite Army: At Last, Hittites
Since 2023, The Chatner has been following the adventures of a Bronze Age shepherd named Hani looking to join up with the Hittite Army.
 • 
Daniel Lavery
1
Cupid and Psyche, Part III: Aphrodite Gets Out Of The Tub At Last
He therefore turned in his course and flew toward the great Ocean, where he found his mother bathing herself, as she did twenty-three hours of the day.
 • 
Daniel Lavery
2
How To Brush Your Baby's Teeth
Be sure to treat this as real medical advice. Not a joke
 • 
Daniel Lavery
1
Most Popular
View all
Jane Austen's Persuasion, Part III
 • Daniel Lavery
1
I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town
 • Daniel Lavery
14
A Brief Account of the Crimes Committed by the Baby So Far in his Nine Months of Life
 • Daniel Lavery
47
You've Got To Brush Even Baby Teeth Every Day, You Know
 • Daniel Lavery
10
How I Believe Various Characters From HBO's "The Sopranos" Would React If I Tried To Teach Them The Rules Of Warhammer
 • Daniel Lavery
4
"Is He Popeable?" My Top Ten Pope Picks, Based Solely on Header Photos In Wikipedia's List of Current Cardinals
 • Daniel Lavery
21
The Hardest Part About Being An Ancient Time Traveler
Doesn't anybody want to talk about their dreams anymore?
 • 
Daniel Lavery
6
Signs You're About To Get Hit With A Pie In A Pie Fight
I’ve watched a lot of movies (and a few TV shows) that prominently feature pie fights, and in my experience the horseshoe effect usually prevails.
 • 
Daniel Lavery
4
Ernest Hemingway's Conservative Parody of "Ferdinand the Bull" Isn't As Bad As It Might Have Been
It’s very difficult not to be tiresome about Ernest Hemingway, for me at least. He has been pretty thoroughly criticized by now, in addition to being…
 • 
Daniel Lavery
4
Tracking The Finances of 30 Rock and Sex and the City
Both Liz and Carrie use their oven for storing clothes. Both buy their apartments in season four; both receive significant book advances that mean they…
 • 
Daniel Lavery
7
The Two Monks Discuss Alchemy
Just how many elements are there, precisely?
 • 
Daniel Lavery
5
Winter In July: "Christmas at the Women's Hotel" galleys are here
Lily, Grace and I are in what I trust are the final settling-in stages of what I need to believe is the final move of our lives.
 • 
Daniel Lavery
3
What Do The Saints Say About Taking A Bath?
"Likewise, water is not naturally a bath, but water through art is made a bath"
 • 
Daniel Lavery
6
The Chatner
The Chatner
A newsletter about rejiggered classics, transmasculine underpinnings of the plucky heroine, and the failure-limits of graciousness, from table manners to family estrangement.
Recommendations
View all 6
DAVID
DAVID
David
Read Max
Read Max
Max Read
twobossydames
twobossydames
Margaret H. Willison
unsnackable
unsnackable
folu
Black Film Archive by Maya S. Cade
Black Film Archive by Maya S. Cade
Maya Cade
© 2025 Daniel M. Lavery
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture