Sitemap - 2019 - The Chatner

"Little Women" Arguments, Ranked In Order of Plausibility

Scenes From "Tearoom Glory," Barbara Pym's Unfinished Novel About Cottaging

At Last, A TV Show That Gives You Everything You Want...Characters Drinking From Obviously Full Cups of Coffee

"We're Not Ugly People, Harge"

A Character Study of Grace Lavery

How I Remember Math

Grace Lavery: "Someone Is Staring At You In Personal Growth"

The New L Word Roundtable: "I said I liked it, and then I snarled again"

How To Transition Without Turning Into Your Father

"Harlots" and Period Ensembles' Problem of Euphemism

Jeanette Winterson's 1986 Diet Book Is Here

Vincent Kartheiser and the Thrill of the Weasel

"The 'M' Stands For Motherless"

Joss Whedon, Men, and the Hugest Shirts In The World

Finally Taking My Own Advice About Thanksgiving

Peak Moments in Shatner Chatnering

My Best Friend the Chicken

That One John Donne Poem But To The Tune Of "Three's Company"

People's Sexiest Man Alive: John Legend

My Keys Are In Hawaii

Come On, Man; Don't Do That

The Stages Of Picking At Your Skin

Ah Gee Whiz, It's Just Me, Marcus Aurelius

Episodes Of "Nathan For You" Designed Specifically For Me, A Person Who Has Been On Edge Due To Secondhand Embarrassment Since Roughly 2005*

Yet More Goose Talk

A Halloween Compendium From The DMO-L Archives

Another Forced-Masc Fantasy: Oh, Bro! Oh, No, Bro! You've Slipped And Fallen Into A Vat Of Testosterone Cypionate

I Got Myself To Watch Succession By Remembering Twilight And So Can You

Things I've Said In The Past 72 Hours

Niles Crane As The Great Theatrical Heroines of History

A Brief History of Makeup

"In the taking of meat there is a great civility, and a care of address": It's Bible Fan Fiction Season Again

All Aboard The T4T Train: Next Stop, Vows

Sir Thomas Wyatt's "They Flee From Me"

Every Place I've Tried Ful Medames In The Bay Area

The Stages Of Listening To Classical Music

How To Fight About "Twilight" After Your Sex Change, Part I

The Problem With Opera

St. Niles Of The Collapse: Niles Crane As Female Mystic Saint

I'm A Rich Man Eating In The Eleventh Or Possibly The Sixteenth Century, Ho-Ho!


You're In A Lesbian Pulp Novel From 1958! What's Distracting You From Work And Causing Your Heterosexual Coworker Nora To Glance Curiously Over At Your Desk?

I Am Both The Prince And The Pauper When I Get A Haircut

Everybody's Talkin' (At Me)

Moments of Transmasculine Resonance In The Obscure Theatrical Adaptation of Victor Hugo's "Les Miserables," In Order of Humiliation

Two Trans Men Discuss Menopause: A Chat With Julian K. Jarboe

The Stages Of Waking Up In The Morning, Or Anytime After Any Period Of Sleep Longer Than Twenty Minutes In Duration

Insufficient Pleasures

I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town

Things that might have prevented my transition

Every Time I Cried Watching Twin Peaks: The Return

Orson Welles Should Have Played Harry Mudd On Star Trek

Continuity And The Transmasculine Interviewer

Sophocles' FRASIER

Two Transmasculine Anthems, Dependent On Mood

Further Evidence That Frasier Crane Is A Centaur

Ages It Is Possible To Be In A Regency Romance

The Shatner Chatner Is Heading Out Of Town

"A nasty man like me coming and spoiling all your fun": Forced-Masc Fantasies in Daphne du Maurier

Possible Breakfast Times, Ranked

"Just One More Thing": Columbo, Nicotine, Quitting Quitting, and the Second Mrs. de Winter

The Tranmasculine Erma Bombeck

Cis Men (As Far As We, Like, *Know*) With Inexplicably Transmasculine Energy

The Worst Love Languages

How To Play Chess On Your Phone

The Pleasures of Running-Away Food

Why I Think I Am Attracted To Josh Charles

Ways In Which Lt. Columbo's Perfection Resembles The Perfection Of God

Alternatives To Transition I Might Have Spent My Thirties "Getting Really Into" Instead

Recipes From Sir John Mandeville

An Update in Shower Technology

Niles Crane Is...

The Crane Boys Visit Edgar Allan Poe

A Sneak Peek From "Something That May Shock And Discredit You"

Dionne Warwick's Annotated "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?"

Acceptable Responses To "Oh, She's Someone" When We're Watching TV Together

Everyone In The Phantom Tollbooth Looked A Little Bit Like William F. Buckley

Surely Nothing Will Interrupt The Glittering Whirl Of This Debutante Season

Chernobyl, Boris Scherbina, and The Five Love Languages

As It Happens I Owe Mary And Martha An Apology

Niles And Frasier Crane In "The Terror"

Standing At The Back Of A Boat Thinking About Other People Who Have Been On Different Boats

It's Just Pictures From My Vacation

Daily Etiquette From Madam Pendleton's Finishing School For Wayward And Transsexual Boys

"A Sinister Visit From Female Socialization": Chatting With Grace Lavery

Where's Todd Wilkins?

Anne Of Transmasculine Gables: Diana Is Invited to Tea with Tragic Results

The Real Problem With Making Two Trips To Carry All Of My Groceries In The House

The Scariest Part Of Scary Movies Is Everyone Agreeing About You Except For You

An Afternoon With Lou: Teenybopper Frenzy As Prefigured Transition

Room Temperatures, In Order Of Moral Laxity

"Tell Me, What Did I Say That For?" Yet More Sorrows Of Young Werther And The Fragments of Albert

The Hardest Thing About Transition Is Admitting I'm A Redheaded Man

No One Bites Like

"The On-The-Nose, Po-Faced Transmasculine Memoir I Am Trying Not To Write": My Third Book Is Coming Out And I Had To Not-Write This Book First To Do It

Peak Moments In Autoandrophilia, Star Trek Edition: Turnabout Intruder

You Gotta Be So Careful What You Say Nowadays

Just How Transsexual Is "My Fair Lady," Anyways

Because Turnabout Is Fair Play: Sweet Valley High's "Flowers In The Attic"

"Their Handsome Father, Ned Wakefield"

Give A Man A Testosterone Patch, And He'll Turn Into Saint Sebastian

"As A Trans Man, Thanks For Being So Welcoming Of Trans Men; Weird That There's No Trans Women Here"

In Praise of Museum Cafes And Little Restaurants In Botanical Gardens

An Incomplete Ranking Of Sweet Valley High Characters In Order Of Trans Resonance

Thirteen Reasons A Trans Man Might Apply Makeup In The Middle of The Afternoon

Every Time Liz Lemon Is Almost Gay Or Something ("Or Something") On 30 Rock

Get That Look: Martin Prince

The Mosquito-Eater: A Monologue

I Believe We Shall Find Papa Among The Roses

California Here We Come: The Transmasculine Appeal Of Wearing Layered Shirts In The Full Summer Heat Of The O.C.

"Wondering whether he was to mount the box or enter with his master": Forced-Masc Fantasies In Georgette Heyer

Sex And The City Relationships, Ranked In Order Of T4T Energy

Carrie Bradshaw Is Dating The Drapes

Thursday Open Thread, International Edition

"The Honeymooners," Where Ralph Kramden Is A Stone Butch And All Threats Of Physical Violence Are Replaced By Wistful Desires To Escape Into Outer Space

Things I Have Yelled At My Television Set, Which Cannot Hear Me, While Watching The Terror

At First Everyone Enjoyed The Scooters. Then The Scooters Became Mandatory

Other Things The New York Times Has Said About Binding

How I Intend To Comport Myself In Paris

The Binary Conversation Continued

I Am A Simple Frenchman of The Soil...I Wish Only To Tend To My Beans In Peace

Spirited Gay Aunts In Fiction, Ranked

How I Caught My ROGD

Justifications For My Irrational Fear Of Flying, In Order

Feelings I Have Shared With Roman Emperors, Tyrants Of Old, Prophets, Good Fairies Disguised As Crones, Enchanted Princes, and Temperamental Thoroughbred Stallions At Crosswalks

The Man Who Loved The Woman Who Ate A Piano: The Sorrows Of Young Werther Makes Me Anxious About My Own Legacy

Oh, No – I've Overprais'd Sir's Elegant Body And Now It's Growing

I Finished Writing My Book So You Can Go Right To Hell

The Stages Of Receiving Physical Mail, Like In Your Mailbox

Annotating Phoebe Hinsdale Brown's Account Of Writing The Hymn "I love to steal awhile away" In 1818

The Index From Dr. Mary Pipher's "Reviving Ophelia," In Order Of Continued Emotional Resonance

Thursday Open Thread

The Entire Series Run Of Frasier Where Everything's The Same But Frasier Is Now, Very Obviously, A Centaur

Binary vs. Non-Binary: The Worst WWE Smackdown Idea Ever

Gentlemen, please! Put down your duelling pistols – I swear I am not worth it!

Getting The Band Back Together: One Last Interview With Nicole and Danny

What air conditioning feels like: Alcoholism, That One Sears Commercial, and Dives In Hell

Joan Didion Receives A Phone Call From Anne Carson

"Just To Be Clear, Everyone Was A Little Bit Of A Lesbian Then": Contextualizing 19th-Century Lesbianism

The Life Of Christ, As Told By That Scene From Moonstruck Where Nic Cage Tells Chrissy To Bring Him The Big Knife

A Working Script For Any Extreme Sports Documentary

One Weird Thing* They** Don't*** Tell You**** About Top Surgery

"My Clean Floor" And The Battles You're Only Aware Of Once You've Lost

Us And A Little Bit Of Hell

I Walk Onto The Stage And As Soon As The Orchestra Plays The First Notes From My Signature Showstopper I'm Interrupted By Applause Before I Can Even Begin

Sailor Suits In Art, In Order Of Butchness

If You Can't Parallel Park You Have To Transition

Niles Crane And The 1930s-Era Character Actresses Whose Spirit He Confusingly Embodies

Lesbian Velocity: A Chat With Grace Lavery

Hitchcock's "Rope," As Told By Quotes From "Frasier"

"The Boys Are Back In Town" But It's About The Boys In The Band, Thanks

Claims Marion Davies Makes About William Randolph Hearst In Her Memoirs, In Order Of Implausibility

Lines From Orson Welles' Foreward To Marion Davies' Memoirs, In Order Of Misplaced Sonorousness

"Black Narcissus," Or Men In Shorts Will Get You Every Time

"I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up": Joan Didion Takes A Call From Anne Carson

The Problem With Taking A Walk

"And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name": Mister Wilson Is A Good Dog

Jane de La Vaudère's "Les Demi-Sexes" And Confusing Sexual Math

The Face Of Every Man On The East Coast

My book is due tomorrow

You There! Swordsmith! Can We Count On You?

I Need These Midcentury-Faced White Men To Leave Me Alone

Oh, Detective! I Hadn't Noticed You There. Please, Allow Me To Furtively Drop Something –

Annie Dillard Noir: Pilgrim At Tinker Creek

A Virgin Who Can't Drive: The Poetry of Dafydd ap Gwilym

What I've Learned About Female Beauty From Reading "Ivanhoe"

The Two Kinds Of Historical Novels That Activate Every Pleasure Center In My Historical-Novel-Reading Brain

How You Will Die In The Decadent Movement

Alannah Myles, "Black Velvet" and Loving One Dead Boy So Much You Never Talk To Alive Boys And They Have To Leave You Alone

The Foundings of Rome

You Are A Stammering New Priest Among The Viking-Men! They Laugh At Your New Religion Through Sheaves Of Ale And Capons, Ho-Ho-Ho They Do! How Will You Make Them Listen, Little Smoothcheeks?

Cosmopolitan Magazine Headlines For Bewildered Future Trans Men

The Rules of Trans Chess

Coffee Shops, AfterEllen, and Leaving Your Trans Boyfriends Outside: An Important Distinction

What It Feels Like To Have Plants In The House Now

"Perhaps one or two well-mannered children"

Middlemarch, Again

The Precise Comfort of Dogweight

The Charles Dickens Moral Alignment Chart

"You know, I used to be quite a looker"

Season 7 L Word Plotlines That Feel So Inevitable It's As If They Were Already Filmed

Chapter Titles From My Upcoming On-The-Nose, Embarrassingly Po-Faced Transmasculine Memoir

The Transsexual Kennedys: The Addams Family

Just Another Minute, Please, Miss – Hoping That My Suit Might Not Prove Entirely Distasteful To Ye – I Make Ninepence A Shilling And I Saw A Dog Once't

You're Sick Of Dancing At This Crummy Nightclub! But Johnnie Is Waiting By The Stage Door. What Are You Going To Say To Him So You Two Can Finally Get Out Of Here?

Men Running Out Of Steam In Public: A Walking Tour

How I Intend To Comport Myself When I Have Abs

The Wakefield Twins In The Garden Of Eden

Plato's Timaeus Without Socrates

Dirtbag Sappho: The Fragments

I Want To Dive Into My Own Little Rat Beard

You are going. To go back in time. and eat the seven wonders of the world

Alexander Dumas on genital inconvenience, the division of mustard by sex, and dick-crazed turkeys

Herodotus on Horse Girls

There Was Like Eight Dollars of Jarlsberg In There: Andy's Boyfriend Nate Is Dizzy And Gasping Here In Hell

You There, Varlet!

What I Assume I'm Missing After A Lifetime Without Invitations To Join The Duke On His Pleasure Barge

The Problem With Murder Mysteries

Watership Down, from someone who's never read it

Elijah and the Seagulls

You and Me and Our First Years On T